The After
by LilaJune
Summary: It's been six months since June's 27th birthday, since Day returned and her world changed. Now everything is changing again and she and Day must fight together to protect their future. It seemed like these two amazing characters Marie Lu created must have more stories to tell and this one kept rattling around in my head. First fanfic so feedback is welcome and appreciated
1. Chapter 1

JUNE

RUBY SECTOR

0510 hours

I am shaking and my breathing is shallow, sweat drips down my face and into my eyes blurring my vision but I don't wipe it away.

I cannot allow myself to be distracted, to think of anything but my form.

I can't let myself think.

For fifty-nine minutes and sixteen seconds I have managed to keep the thoughts and the nausea at bay. Running through my morning circuits, trying to lose myself in exercise the way I have for years but my body is rejecting the strain and I'm unable to achieve the oblivion I seek.

As if on cue, as soon as this thought crosses my mind my stomach rolls and I find my self clutching the bag hanging from the ceiling. I try to steady my breath.

Inhale, two seconds exhale, four seconds. It's not working. I sink to the ground and focus on my hands. This is so frustrating. I'm frustrated and angry with myself because if I'm honest, I am scared.

How did I let this happen?

It's only been six months.

Six months since Day…Daniel stepped back into my life. Six months that I'm not convinced haven't been a dream. 173 days of careful courting both of us wary, gentle, unwilling to risk confessing to the intensity of what we are feeling.

I lift my head and glance back into the darkness that engulfs the rest of the apartment, the sun has not yet begun to rise and I can only just make out the outline of his form in my bed. Despite the fear clawing at my chest and the waves of nausea rolling through me my heart skips a beat seeing him there.

It's a relatively new development, him, coming here, to me after two weeks working in Antarctica. Last night, he got in so late that I had already gone to bed assuming he would just go home to the apartment he shares with his brother. In the small hours of the morning I had felt hands in my hair and warm breath on my cheek and I pulled the knife out from under my pillow in a flash and nearly slit his throat.

"June, it's me" he had managed to gasp. Three seconds after that I was awake enough to let him go, how had I missed the door opening?

"Did you come in the window?" I hissed, my heart was still pounding. He'd smirked at me his eyes bright even in the darkness. "I can't believe you still do that" I had mumbled, tempted to turn over and ignore him. But I couldn't, his eyes trapped me and I couldn't resist reaching for his face and pulling him to me. He had murmured something I didn't hear against my lips and my thoughts had blurred and faded away.

I take another deep breath and climb carefully to my feet.

When Anden and I separated it was not because of Day. Not directly at least. At that time I had carefully shut away any hope of ever knowing him again. I loved Anden. When our relationship began I had been falling in love with him for months. It was never a reckless love, I didn't love him with abandon the way I had loved Day. But I had been so young then, young and raw with all the emotional trauma of those months. I told myself I would _never _love like that again. That I didn't want too.

Anden knew I loved him, but he also knew that I wouldn't give him everything. I would gladly give my life for him, but I refused to give him the one thing he most desired. Family.

I couldn't. I had lost so much. Whenever I imagined myself with children my heart turned ice cold. Growing up without my parents, saying goodbye to Metias…and Day. What if I lost a child…or our child lost their parents? Anden and I did not live a life void danger. Worse, if I had children with Anden would I willingly throw myself in front of him if they were also in danger? No, of course not. It would have become another's job to protect us all. I just couldn't imagine it. I didn't want to. I told him no. Eventually we both realized he deserved a chance to have a family. He deserved someone who could love him without any reservations. He deserved more.

Nothing has changed for me. Except that everything has changed. Everything.

I am still shaking as I walk into the dark kitchen to fix tea. I move soundlessly and don't turn on the light. I don't actually know I'm pregnant. Not officially. I haven't been to a Doctor. But I know.

Tess knows too. Tess works twice a week as a volunteer Doctor in the Lake Sector women's clinic. Three nights ago when we met for dinner the smells in the restaurant were just too overwhelming I had to excuse myself twice to be sick. She didn't say anything, not directly but she firmly turned down the bottle of wine the restaurant owner sent over and there was no mistaking the look in her eyes as she assessed me.

I know she's waiting for me to say something to her…or to Day.

Day. How do I tell him? What do I tell him?

When I began to suspect I was pregnant my first thought was to terminate it, followed instantly by such intense horror it physically rocked me. I knew immediately I would never _ever _be able to end this pregnancy.

Not Day's child.

I take my tea out to the balcony and survey the cool morning. A new sun has begun to creep over the horizon, a new day "_Each day means everything's possible again…_ "

It's strange not to be carrying those memories alone anymore. For ten years I was the sole keeper of our story. I guarded it jealously and it's harder than I ever would have imagined letting go of that role.

Only six months, I'm afraid of tying us together like this when we are only just starting to discover who we are together. I'm afraid Day…Daniel won't want to be tied.

Six stories below me a street vendor begins cooking his morning fare. The scent wafts into my nostrils before I have time to steel myself. My stomach turns horribly and all my efforts from earlier are lost. I set my cup down too quickly on the rail and I know it will fall but I don't have time to catch it. I retreat into the apartment as quickly as possible and barely make it to the bathroom.

Afterwards I pull myself into the shower and focus on calming my stomach, my breathing and my mind. This isn't me! I am composed, logical. I have to stop hiding from this. Face the fear. I'm not ready to tell Day, not yet but it's long past time to pay a visit to Tess. I have clothed myself in resolve and a towel when I step out of the bathroom and run right into Day.

DAY

Something is wrong with June.

I had been dreaming. In the dream I was following a man my unit has been keeping tabs on. I moved silently over rooftops and balconies as he traveled below. The man looked around nervously before turning down one last ally. My heart rate picked up, this was it! After months of careful work we were about to get eyes on his contact. I turned to look at the agent with me it's June. She smiled at me but her attention was directed at the target. I turned back to the man as well; he was standing still, muscles tense, waiting. After a moment a door creaked open in in the ally and I could just make out the dark profile of the contact. Perfect.

But something was off, June. June shouldn't be there. This had nothing do with her, nothing to do with the Republic…Right?

Suddenly I wasn't sure that _was _right. Something about seeing June crouched next to me studying the two men in her calculated way and the dark slender shape of the contact triggered an uneasy feeling.

A memory? Damn my memory! I turned back to June looking for answers. But she was gone. Lost. Shadows closed in on the spot she had been moments before as though they had erased her. The scene quickly faded into a dream I knew all to well. She was lost and I was searching, always searching.

The crash out on the balcony wakes me and my arm reaches out instinctively for June. She isn't there. For a moment panic grips me before I remember her habit of waking up hours before dawn to train.

I push the heels of my hands into my eyes and laugh at myself, remembering June pulling her knife on me in the middle of the night. I'm _almost_ as bad as she is. For two people who have been spent years in high stakes work that requires us to be calm under pressure we are awfully jumpy sleepers.

I'm about to turn over and go back to sleep when I hear June in the bathroom. She is sick. Before I realize what I'm doing, I'm up and moving through the living room in her direction. I pull myself up short just before I barge in on her. June is an adult; perfectly capable of taking care of herself she probably wouldn't appreciate the intrusion just now. Still, the dream lingers in my mind as I step back and lean on the doorframe. I listen as the shower turns on and wonder what's got me so paranoid. It's not just the dream.

After years of chasing shadows these past six months have been...a relief. The moment saw June on that street it was like the world suddenly made sense again. For the first few years after I woke up with a chunk of time carved out of my head I actively avoided the past.

I remembered enough. Enough to make me think it was best to leave the past in the past and try to move forward. Over time though my dreams became relentless, some were so clear I knew they must be memories.

Most were hazy though, images, sounds and always, always a girl with a dark glossy ponytail, her face just out of sight. She was everywhere, one night I would be staring down the barrel of a gun she held another I would be pressed against her naked skin my face buried in her dark hair.

Eventually I began looking for answers, I was too embarrassed to talk to Eden or Tess at first so I started online. Started with myself. I tentatively picked my way through blurry photos and garbage news articles. Initially I found a whole lot of nothing. I was beginning to think I was a pretty pathetic excuse for an intelligence agent when I finally got a lead. It was in the speech I gave supporting The Republic's new Elector. I come across the speech before but it was unsettling to see myself in a moment I knew people considered "historical" and feel like I was watching a stranger. The stories that boy told didn't feel like mine, but they were and they weren't something I was even sure I wanted to remember.

It was a full year after I started digging that I finally watched that clip all the way through. That's when I heard her name. June. It came right out of my own mouth and as I listened to myself tell the story of how the Republic had failed her suddenly it didn't seem alien anymore. It felt like a story I knew.

After that the pieces fell more quickly into place. When I searched for June I discovered a young republic solider who's history seemed to match the story I had told the people on that balcony I also learned she had gone missing and a reward had been offered for her return right after my supposed execution… John's execution.

_That _was something had adamantly avoided. I'd heard the story; I didn't need to see the visual aids.

Deep down I'd always felt like a coward for not honoring John with the courage to stand witness to his sacrifice. Faced with the connection between the dark haired girl and my brother's death, I steeled myself and watched the recording.

That night I'd had one of those nightmares I knew was rooted in a truth.

Soldiers surround my childhood home; they drag Eden and John away and force my mother to her knees at their feet. I scream and scream, and even though in the dream I'm standing right beside her I am too far away. I know what comes next but I'm as powerless to stop it in my dream as I had been that day. A man raises his gun to my mother's head, looks me dead in the eye and executes her. Suddenly the girl replaces the man. June. I stare at her feeling nothing but hate in every fiber of my being. But then the girl's dark eyes fill with tears and she lifts the gun that killed my mother to her own head

"I'm so sorry Day" she says and pulls the trigger. Gone. She is gone, again.

For nearly nine months after that I stopped searching, I no longer wanted to know. But my mind wouldn't quiet and my heart still ached for the piece it was missing. Slowly I began to realize that whatever it was it could only be found with her.

The bathroom door opens and June trips right into me. I clasp her by the shoulders and hold her up. Wet hair clings to her neck like seaweed. Her face looks waxy and drawn but comically startled. "Day…..Daniel! What are you doing!?" She still stumbles over my name the way she stumbled out the door. My eyes wander to the towel she is clutching to her chest for a split second I'm thinking about last night, right after she relinquished the knife... But one look at the dark circles under her eyes and my thoughts are back on track.

"Um, I heard a crash this morning and it woke me up...June, are you ok" She studies me. I can tell she knows I've been standing here for a while so she also knows I heard more than the cup breaking. "I'm fine Daniel" she says after a pause. "It was just a rough work out this morning" the corner of her mouth turns up in a wicked grin " _Someone_ thought it would be a goddy clever idea to break into my apartment in the middle of the night, I hardly got any sleep" she's lying, trying to distract me, sometimes I think June only remembers me at 16 and forgets the years I've spent in international intelligence. Besides she's cracked if she thinks I believe a hard workout would make_ her_ sick like that.

I return the grin though and wink at her "Hm. I seem to remember things a little differently, I can't be held responsible if women lose sleep because of me sweetheart" she laughs, bats my hands away and smoothly sidesteps me. "You almost lost more than sleep! I'm sorry I woke you though do you have to report to the embassy today?" I follow her back towards the bedroom and watch as she dresses in her sleek Commander's uniform. Is she thinner than she was two weeks ago?

"I do, but only for a quick debriefing, I should be done early, do you want to meet for dinner Commander?" Her nose wrinkles at the mention of food. I knew she was lying. "I..I'm not sure when I'll be finished today. Can I call you?" I step towards her as she buttons up her shirt and take her face in my hands slowly leaning forward and brushing my lips against her forehead, her cheeks, working my way to her lips "Mmmmm you _can _call me, just don't torture me with waiting" It wasn't the best choice of words. June pulls away "I did, you know " she says quietly, suddenly serious "I did torture you once, pistol whipped you and everything " I rake my hands through my hair and lean my forehead against hers; I never know what to do when she says stuff like this. For one thing a lot of those memories are still blurry or lost forever but more importantly It's like she's testing me to see if she can find the one thing that will send me packing back to Antarctica forever. She won't. Nothing could be worse than what happened with my family and I forgave her for her role in that even before I understood what she really meant to me, what she sacrificed for me.

"Well then…I suppose you probably owe me, Yeah?" I flash her my most seductive smile "Maybe you should just stay home today and make it up to me" She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes "Wish I could, sadly I'm overseeing inspection of the new cadets today, I don't know what would happen if I didn't make it. Imagine all those scuffed boots and wrinkled uniforms that might go unnoticed!" for a second something about this statement seems to make her sad but after a moment she shakes it off and lifts onto her toes to kiss me "Dinner sounds good, I'll call you the moment I'm done"

If only I had known then what was in store for us at dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

JUNE

BATALLA HALL

1423 hours

My boot heels click along the gleaming marble floor as I stride down the long hallway towards The Elector's office. The four soldiers standing guard outside the hand carved oak doors salute as I approach. I return the gesture and raise an eyebrow at the young solider on my right Sgt. Lucas. The alignment of his jacket is off because he has a nervous habit of shifting his weight from one leg to the other when he stands watch. I've scolded him before for this so he blushes at my silent admonition. I turn away from him and knock twice just above the carved republic seal, the door opens and two more of my soldiers stand just to the right and left inside. Anden graciously rises from his cherry wood desk as I enter and bow respectfully. "Commander Iparis" he says softly as he nods at me "Thank you for coming" he glances at the soldiers and they leave quietly. "Commander" he starts again after the door closes I tilt my head at him and try not to sigh "June" he corrects, coming out from behind his desk "Will you sit? " He gestures to the dark leather armchairs positioned in front of a large fireplace framed by bookshelves to the far left side of his sprawling office. I nod and sink into a chair he does the same. When after a moment he doesn't say anything I start "Anden, is everything alright?" we see each other nearly every day and meet weekly. While our relationship is considerably more formal now and occasionally awkward I would like to think we are friends. Today, something is on his mind and by the way his hands twitch like he's trying to keep from fidgeting I don't think it's strictly work related.

He sighs and laughs a little under his breathe "I want to talk to you about something personal…I have a favor to ask of you actually " I look at him expectantly, waiting for him to go on "It's Alisha " he says uncomfortably and this time I laugh. Alisha is Anden's girlfriend she's the daughter of a prominent businessman in the Colonies. She and Anden met when she joined her Father at the annual State banquet given in honor of the peace treaty. Shortly thereafter she moved here, to the new capitol, to shadow in our senate as part of an exchange program set up to encourage communication and understanding between our two countries.

They've been together for eight months now and while I've met her I don't know her. "What about Alisha?" I ask allowing a hint of teasing to creep into my voice. Anden smiles at my tone, and continues "I was thinking….I want…What would you think if I asked Alisha to join me on the diplomatic tour in Mexico next month?"

Hm. Wow. I understand why he wants my opinion, as Lead Commander and subsequently head of his security if Alisha were to join him officially she would come under my protection as well. Of course I suspect he is also wondering what I think as his former girlfriend. "Are you planning to propose?" I ask quietly, they haven't been together for a year yet but at Thirty-one people have begun to wonder when Anden will marry, start a family. My stomach clenches in guilt for a second when I think about what it will be like when I have to come clean to Anden….

Tess first. I think and then Day, Anden can wait.

"No." he says "Not just yet, It's something I have considered though and I thought it might be best to give her a chance to experience that sort of thing before I trap her, what if she hates it as much as you did?" I laugh again and lean forward "I don't think that's possible " now it's his turn to laugh and he relaxes a bit into the arm chair, correctly interpreting my playful response as approval "I hope you're right, I know people will make assumptions if she joins me but honestly June, I don't care. I want to know how Alisha will feel in that situation and I want to know if you think I am being stupid" I don't. Not exactly, I know how much he wants this to work but that doesn't mean the logistics don't concern me. "Of course not, I never think that" I tell him, we can talk about logistics another time "Now tell me about this favor?" he shifts in is chair and stares at the fire for a moment as if gathering courage "I want you to get to know her" he says casting me a glance that's almost sheepish "She's, well, she's a little intimidated by you, afraid of you actually and I hoped we, the four of us might have dinner tonight?"

The years I spent schooling my face to remain expressionless are the only thing that save me. The _four_ of us!? I am instantly envisioning a scenario where Day and Anden, the only two men I have ever shared a bed with, who have not met in ten years sit at a table making small talk, which Day still loathes, whilst I try not to vomit in Alisha's lap.

For a moment I wonder if he is serious, but Anden is_ always_ serious and I forget sometimes how truly lonely his life can be. I am lucky to have Tess, Pascao and now Day and Eden even some old Drake classmates who are captains and commanders in the military. I have peers and friends. Subordinates surround the Elector most of them still years older than he is, subordinates and people who want something from him. For a long time Anden only had me. "I'll ask Daniel" I say carefully.

I can only imagine how that will go.

DAY

The air-vent in this room is a fancy porous glasslike panel that precisely maintains the chemical composition of air in the room 79%Nitrogen 21%Oxygen perfect for human homeostasis.

I picked up a lot of useless factoids in Antarctica, I bet June is the only other person I know who would know that. And Eden, June and Eden.

When I was a teenager a panel like that would have stumped me. If I had been a prisoner in this sealed room I would have been stuck. Now though, now I'm pretty sure I could bust out of here in less than twenty seconds. Shame I can't test my theory. I hate meetings like this but since I'm the one who called it I am not allowed to engineer an escape.

We are reviewing the Intel I managed to collect over the past two weeks and what it boils down to is a goddy lot of nothing, one hazy picture of a guy that represents hundreds of hours of work.

But it's a hell of a lot more than we had before so the other agents, both here at the embassy and those who are on the call virtually from Antarctica are excited.

Even Jessalyn is impressed although she'd rather die a million gruesome deaths than admit it. Tall and lithe with legs for days, wide set blue eyes and golden blonde hair Jessalyn is undoubtedly beautiful. From a distance we could almost be related, she has the same eastern European beauty my mother had and we've passed as siblings on one or two missions. Usually we played the role of lovers though.

It should not come as a surprise that most Intel agents are nondescript, the type of people you can have a whole conversation with and forget what they looked like as soon as they walk away. Jessalyn and I are the acceptation so we were partners anytime a job called for flair over subtly.

We also dated on and off for a few years, nothing serious, never exclusive. I was surprised by how angry she was when I moved here to be with June, and Eden of course. We hadn't been together in ages before I left but for whatever reason she's furious about June. Her eyes narrow every time her name comes up and I can tell she thinks she could rip June apart if she wanted to. The idea makes me laugh. Jessalyn is deadly and a full head taller but June would destroy her in seconds, no one compares to June, no one even comes close.

Thinking about June just makes just me want to get out of this room and home to her so I decide to see if I can get things moving "Dakota" I say. The others stop comparing the photo on their tablets to the database of known criminals and look at me "I think the important question here is _why_ is this guy working out of Dakota?"

As a recent addition to Antarctican territory Dakota is a frontier for resourceful upstarts looking for the opportunity to level up outside of the main game system. Those who could deal without luxuries and were able to integrate with the thousands of former Republic citizens who stayed have done well. But Dakota is a community still in development and has little to offer someone playing the international spy game.

From what we know the guy we had been following who lead us to his contact in Dakota is deeply entrenched with people in international black-market trade, which means there is a ton of money behind them. Our Intel suggests the organization he works for is trying to broker a deal with a few countries to get their delegates in the UN to look the other way on minor crimes like, ya know, human trafficking... dirty trots.

What we don't know yet is who is considering the offer and what they want besides money. We also don't know exactly what our guy in Dakota's role is in all this. This is the first picture anyone's seen of him and it seems he's new on the scene so he probably has some powerful connections to be playing with the big boys.

I think of the dream I had last night again, that nagging feeling that the man in the photo is somehow connected to June.

The others launch into a discussion about Dakota but I'm distracted by the message that pops up on my tablet. I've missed two calls from June. Signals are jammed in here so as soon as there is a lull in the conversation I excuse myself, a few of my superiors frown and Jessalyn's virtual image rolls her eyes but I haven't been able to stop worrying about June since this morning so I ignore them an step out of the room to return the call.

"Having a good day?" June's voice rings in my ear "Sure thing sweetheart, I just love these meetings" I say "Everything ok?" she almost never calls more than once. She sighs and it's a frustrated sound "The Elector would like us to join him for dinner" well that's unexpected "Your ex-boyfriend wants to have dinner with me?" I respond flatly, I mean lets call it like it is here none of this elector stuff "Day" she pleads "I didn't know what to tell him, he asked us to join them for dinner tonight, I can't just say no" June only forgets to use my name when she's flustered, or when we're…never mind. I think it's cute actually, I don't mind Day especially not from her. June thinks it's evidence that she's stuck in the past, I think it's just a habit. "Wait, who's them?" I ask "Anden and Alisha, his girlfriend" oh, this just gets more cracked by the minute "Hell" I say "like a double date June?" there is a short pause on the line and I can tell she's trying to work out a pleasant spin that doesn't make the whole idea sound incredibly awkward eventually she gives up "Yes, that's pretty much the gist of it" I think of about ten colorful responses but I keep them to myself. Instead respond in my best impersonation of that clipped high society accent "But June darling whatever will I wear?" she laughs "Thank you! I'm sorry if this ruins our dinner plans" I can tell she's relieved I've agreed so easily "Now you'll just never know what romantic adventure I had in store " I tease "Are you headed home? Should I meet you there?" she pauses again and this time it seems laced with anxiety "I'm on my way over to Lake actually, I have to run an errand, I can meet you at your place if that's easier?" Lake? What errand is she running in Lake? Curiosity washes over me "Why don't you call when you're done and we'll figure it out, I've got to get back inside if I'm gonna be set free before I'm ninety" she agrees and we hang up.

As I walk back to the sealed room I decide maybe I should swing by Lake too and see if I can catch up with June.

JUNE

LAKE SECTOR

1605 hours

I make calls a string of calls and arrange all the plans for dinner while I walk through Lake, hammering down the security team as well as the restaurant. I've decide it makes the most sense to go to a small out of the way place in Ruby with excellent food, a discreet staff and most importantly manageable entrances and exits. I send a team in early to sweep the preemies and consider sending Jacob, the Elector's double; to a more high profile restaurant before deciding it's overkill. This is a "double date" as Day called it not a banquet. Besides I haven't had to deal with any serious threats on Anden's life since a disgraced senator hired someone to assassinate him in our apartment. The assassin and the senator _seriously _underestimated me. Both are dead.

That was right around the time I started sleeping with weapons though. _Probably not a kid friendly habit_ I think.

With that I take a deep breath and place the call.

"Tess?" I say softly when she picks up "June! To what do I owe the pleasure?" Her voice is kind but I don't miss the touch of sarcasm "Got a minute?" I respond, she sighs "Of _course_ June, I'll be done with my last patient soon where do you want to meet?" I look around the ally that joins this series of tiny compact buildings. New buildings, clean, Lake has changed a lot since I first met Day and Tess here "I'm at the ally door" I say, there is a pause before she responds, "I'll be ten minutes" and hangs up.

Seven minutes later the door swings opens and Tess waves me inside. I follow her through the hallway to one of the cramped exam rooms, probably only 40sq ft. but well maintained. Tess grabs a gown from one of the drawers and tosses it at me. "Get changed and I'll be right back, I'm gonna send Amy home" I do and less three minutes later Tess comes in crosses her arms and looks me up and down, then without a word she comes over and gets to work; she takes my blood pressure, listens to my chest, feels my abdomen and takes a small vial of blood spinning it down and putting a sample into a machine on the wall. Eight minutes and fifteen seconds after she began she pulls a screen up on her small desk turns to me and says softly "You're pregnant"

I knew that. I did.

Tess's head is tilted, eyebrows furrowed in concern trying to understand what's going on in my head, why I didn't come to her weeks ago. I look at her warm eyes for a moment and then I burst into tears. It is an ugly uncontrolled hiccupping kind of sobbing and I can't understand why exactly I'm doing it I also can't seem to stop. Eventually Tess pulls over the blue swivel chair and places one of her small pale hands on each of my knees. She looks at me and waits for me to hold her gaze then she calmly says "June, If I weren't afraid you would tear my arms off I would slap you right now" I can't help but laugh, "I would slap me too" I say "What is going on, why didn't you tell me?" she asks.

So I tell her. I tell her all the fears I have about having children and losing them or leaving them. I tell her about Day and how afraid I am of hurting him again. I tell her how desperately I love him and how out of control that makes me feel. That I can't help thinking I will loose him again.

Tess listens while I say more than I think I've ever said in one sitting and when I am finally quiet she tells me "It's ok that you're afraid June, trust me it's normal. But this kind of fear isn't you and I don't think you know what to do with it. You've got to let go of the cracked idea that Day is just going to disappear someday. For one thing _you _were the one who walked away ten years ago and for another he _knows_ what you did, he's forgiven you Eden's forgiven you, hell June I forgave you! Now it's your turn to forgive yourself. I don't think you're afraid of the baby, I think you are afraid of happiness. It's like you think you don't deserve it." I stare at her. I don't know if she's right but it's worth thinking about, after a moment she looks me in the eye and asks, "Do you want this?" I nod and she nods back at me "Daniel will be happy" she says and gives me a small smile. 'Thanks Tess "I manage.

The machine on the wall beeps softly and Tess frowns at the screen for a moment taking in the results that just popped up "Looks like you're a little anemic. Your blood pressure is higher than I'd like as well, it's too early to worry about pre-eclampsia but I'm not thrilled about some of these numbers. Have you had many episodes of emesis over the past few weeks or just the other night at the restaurant?" Tess is in Doctor mode now and somehow that calms me "I've been sick once or twice a day for a few weeks" I reply. Tess groans "For the most frighteningly brilliant person I know you are being an idiot about this. No wonder you're anemic. I'll give you something for the nausea and we'll start you on vitamins." She looks sternly at me for a minute but then a smile breaks across her face and she claps her hands together in a way that reminds me how young she is "Do you want to see it?" She asks, "The clinic just got a new 3D Ultrasound, we can figure out when you're due!" My heart feels like it might jump out of my chest when she says this but I nod anyway. Tess tells me to lie down on the table and then disappears returning with the machine "I haven't used this yet, the quality is supposed to be amazing" A moment later when the image appears on the screen I see she's right. It is amazing. For a long time we are both silent while we watch. Even now the fetus looks like a small person and it moves when Tess moves the machine. I realize I am crying again silent tears are streaming down my face. I don't know this child, I didn't think I ever wanted this but I am suddenly consumed by the realization that I _love_ him or her. "I'd say you are about 10 weeks" Tess says "You weren't going to be able to keep it from Day for much longer anyway" then she laughs and I see that her eyes are glossy too "This kid is going to be so much trouble". I grab Tess's free hand clasp it in my own "you were right Tess, I should have told you sooner, Thank you".

I want to say more but more but there just isn't anything else to say.


	3. Chapter 3

DAY

I don't find June in Lake but she finds me. I'd every intention of doing a methodical sweep of the sector but my feet just carried me right to the street where I grew up and I've been standing here for almost an hour now. My childhood home is long gone. Torn down years ago when they began replacing the shantytown buildings with sturdy single-family homes. Where my house and those around it stood however, no new homes were built.

Instead a small neighborhood park occupies the space. Tess called me when they began construction in this neighborhood and told me what she wanted to do. I was grateful to her for thinking of me but at the time I couldn't understand how she had managed to convince city planners to spare this spot of land for a garden, no matter _how _famous I'd been. The Elector himself she'd hesitantly confessed intended to dedicate the park to my family and to all the citizens affected by the plagues. It didn't make much sense then, but I know now that June had a lot to do with it.

I've been here before with Eden and Tess even with June but never alone. Now I am standing in a shady corner, beyond the benches and trees back near the fence where fifteen minutes ago I discovered a patch of sea daisies surrounding a tiny bronze plaque that reads simply:

_For Mom and John_.

Only Tess could be responsible for placing it there and probably only I have ever noticed it, hidden like it is among these unassuming flowers, weeds to anyone else.

I'm lost in an ocean of memories of my mother and my childhood so I don't hear her at all when she walks up behind me and slips her hand into my own. She must have known I would go looking for her, she also knew I'd end up here. I grasp her hand tightly and for a moment I am afraid to look at her, afraid that I will see that haunted look in her eyes or that she will find it in mine.

When I finally do tear my eyes away from the plaque and meet hers I'm taken aback by what I see. She is radiant, her eyes are serious but burning with some intense emotion I don't understand. For a moment all I can do is stare at her and wonder what happened in the last twelve hours to put this expression on her face. Before I can say anything though June reaches up and touches my cheek with her free hand, brushing away the remnants of tears, it lingers there for a moment before it slips around my neck and pulls my mouth down to hers. Her lips soft and full press against mine with surprising intensity. I'm quickly swept away by it, grabbing her waist and pulling her closer, my hands run through her hair pulling out the band that holds it up as they go. I didn't realize how much I missed her all day, how being away from her for the last two weeks left me feeling shallowThe creaking of the swing-set on the other side of the small park pulls us back. June buries her head against my chest her breath uneven. Then she laughs softly and says "Sorry, I couldn't help it" she tilts her head up at me "I love you, you know" I do know and I brush my lips against her forehead and nod, I wish I knew what was going on behind those eyes "I love you too June" she smiles and her gaze falls on the sea daisies and the plaque "Tess put that there" she confirms "Had a whole argument with the gardener about how sea daisies aren't weeds. I was really impressed with the threats she used" I laugh picturing it "She can be pretty scrappy when she needs to be" I say "It's best not to cross her when she's on a mission" June rolls her eyes playfully "No kidding!" she scoffs in a way that makes me think she's had recent experience. Then it dawns on me; Tess works around here at some sort of clinic, I feel stupid for not remembering it before. Thinking back on June's drawn face and slender frame from this morning I'm suddenly sure that's where she was, "Are you gonna tell me where you were this afternoon?" I ask, concerned again now that I'm pretty sure she's keeping something about her health from me. June tilts her head and studies my face, for a moment I think she's going to confess to whatever it is she's hiding but then her lips press together and she kicks my boot with her own "No. I'm not. Not just yet anyway. We are running insanely late" Oh right. Dinner with the ex this is gonna be fun.

JUNE

RUBY SECTOR

1830 hours

Dinner, so far, is going reasonably well. On the way to the restaurant I gave Day the brief history of Anden and Alisha. I described my conversation with Anden from earlier and when I got to the part about Alisha being afraid of me he didn't laugh he just winked at me and said "Smart girl".

Alisha, it turns out is _very _smart. It took two glasses of wine and twenty-eight minutes for her to say anything at all but when she did start talking she had a lot of interesting things to say. The credit for loosening her tongue belongs to Day. He seemed to sense that my formal attempts at social niceties were doomed to fail so he summoned the full power of his flirtatious smile, refilled her wine glass and started chatting with her about anything and everything from Antarctica's game system to fashion in the colonies. Alisha proved as helpless against his innate charm as anyone else and succumbed quickly. _Apparently _she was president of a fan club dedicated to Day when she was a teenager. I glance at Anden when she admits this but his face remains perfectly pleasant, bemused even. I wonder if he already knew that fun fact when he decided to invite us both. Either way I can tell he's relieved she has started speaking at all.

By the time the main course arrives everyone is relatively relaxed. Anden and Day are politely discussing The Republic's recent induction into the United Nations and Alisha has managed to make eye contact with me long enough to describe her passion for reading old law texts books from the former United States. I study her while she speaks, her frame is delicate, huge hazel eyes compliment soft feminine features and reddish brown hair hangs in waves down her back and when Anden catches her eye she smiles easily. She is twenty-eight, a few months older than me but she looks younger, her face has none of the hardness I see in my own. The conversation we are having reminds me of the months I spent training as Princeps-Elect and I'm glad that Anden has found someone who truly enjoys political theory. I am about to tell her so when the lights in the restaurant flicker all at once. Silence falls across the table and I am about to signal my men to check things out when everything goes dark.

At first there is no sound only stillness. I reach for the gun at my hip just as I hear muffled footsteps moving towards us on my right, the sound is wrong, not heavy like the security team's boots on the oak floor. I stand and point my gun in that direction careful to cover the Elector. Next to me Day also rises and ignites the lighter he carries with him, for one precious second light penetrates the darkness and no one moves. I process the scene in an instant; my thoughts are clear, razor sharp, more collected than they've been for weeks. A thin, sallow faced, dark haired man stands less than four feet from us, his gun is raised but it does not point at the Elector as I had anticipated. My mistake is a costly one; my gun is angled slightly to the left of where it needs to be. I see the man's finger twitch and I don't think, I just act because there isn't time to do anything else. I can readjust my aim and shoot this man or I can save a life. I drop my own weapon and launch across the table at Alisha just as the shot rings out. Fire rips across my right side and out of the corner of my eye I see Day dive for the man straight into the path of his next shot.

Time seems to stand still. _Not again! _A voice screams in my head. Images of Day lying on pavement; pale, bleeding, his life fading beneath my hands swim through my mind. The lights come back on; I am pressed against Alisha who I have pinned to the ground. In my peripheral vision I see Anden, also on the ground, covered by the goddy _useless _security team. Day was shot. I know this with every fiber of my being. I saw the man aim straight at his head just before I crashed to the floor with Alisha. I heard the second shot. The thought that he is lost to me again makes me so weak I can't even move to make sure Alisha is able to breathe beneath me. "June!" someone shouts "June!" It's Day. Oh my god, It's Day. I roll off of Alisha and stand so quickly I almost crash right back down. A wave of dizziness sweeps over me and I have to clutch the upended table to stay upright, I can't feel my body but I don't care. Day is staring at me from across the room where the assailant is limp at his feet. He waits for two soldiers to reach him and take his place with the man before he sprints to me. "You're shot", he says reaching for my hip where a dark wet stain is barely visible against my black pants. His fingers come away red when he lifts them to look closer at the wound. "It's fine, I don't feel anything" I respond, my voice sounds hollow. The relief I felt is fading, in it's place a deep fury swells in my chest. My eyes sweep across the scene around us; Anden has risen to his feet, the security team still ringed around him, he meets my gaze for a second and his eyes are black with anger as he shoves the soldiers aside to get to Alisha who is still on the floor.

Alisha. I almost sacrificed my life for her. A woman I barely know. I cannot even describe the darkness that wells in me as I realize that I would have sacrificed my unborn child's life as well. I didn't even think to pause, to save myself or to protect Day. I dove for her and Day dove for the assailant. My deepest fear almost became reality. Day is watching me watch her and I suspect he knows some of what I am thinking because he reaches up and brushes my cheek taking my chin and guiding my eyes back to his "Hey" he whispers "We're all ok". He's right, it isn't fair to be angry with this girl, it _wasn't_ her fault and I'm glad she isn't hurt.

I exhale a breath I didn't know I was holding trying to send the anger out with it but it doesn't fade it morphs. I stare into the ocean blue eyes of the man before me and I am consumed by the need to protect him. Daniel, our unborn child, they are my family now and I will never, ever let _anyone_ hurt my family again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Quick aside:** Thank you all _so_ much for reading and reviewing! I truly appreciate your thoughts and I LOVE a good Legend discussion! I'm going to try to update about once a week although I've discovered I always end up writing considerably longer chapters than I had planned…

I hope you all continue to enjoy this crazy love letter to Marie Lu and her amazing series (which is, perhaps, less crazy than the pile of pulled apart twisted up paperclips I have sitting on my desk at work…)

DAY

For Eden's twelfth birthday I took him to Antarctica's National Zoo a colossal building ten times the size of a trial stadium with _thousands_ of rare and exotic animals in elaborate synthetic habitats. Watching Eden rediscover the world as his eyes healed was a source of real joy in those confusing early years after I woke up.

Eden's favorite part of that day was the big-cat exhibit. I was something of a celebrity, even in Antarctica and Eden and I were given a private tour of some of the restricted areas. One of the cats, a huge female tiger had recently given birth to two tiny cubs that weren't yet on display to the public. The zookeepers had brought the cubs out and allowed Eden to hold them. To say his face lit up is the understatement of the century, the happiness in eyes was priceless. The mother tiger though, still haunts me.

I had never seen such a giant animal before, my Father had told us bedtime stories with beasts like that in them but I'd thought they were just tales. The tiger had paced just behind the glass less that a foot away from where her offspring played in Eden's lap. Her huge powerful body moved in utter silence and the piercing yellow eyes that watched my little brother made me anxious. Part of me had wanted to snatch him away, the glass was four inches thick but I was convinced she might _will _herself right through it to reach her cubs and destroy him.

June reminds me of that tiger now.

I watch her pace slowly from one end of a semi circle of soldiers to the other. Every single step she takes looks graceful, calculated and deadly, the wound on her hip must hurt like hell but I sure can't tell from the way she moves. Her eyes burn with a ferocity that could set the whole goddy restaurant up in flames and even though she speaks softly the men and women around her look as though they want to crawl into a hole and die.

June turns and walks to where Anden stands, surrounded by soldiers, a protective hand rests on his girlfriend's shoulder and his own expression is almost as dark as June's. The girl, Alisha visibly shrinks as June approaches, if she wasn't afraid of her before she is now. I don't blame her. June may have saved her life but anyone would be frightened by the look on her face. A memory crashes back into my mind and suddenly I remember fifteen-year-old June glaring down at me where I lie on a dirty prison floor. Maybe the memory is faulty but the anger in her eyes pales in comparison to what I see there now, considering she thought I murdered her brother back then that confuses me. For the hundredth time today I wish I knew what was going on in that brain of hers.

"Someone here gave the assailant information." June states. She isn't saying anything every single person in this room doesn't already know. I shove my hands into my pockets and walk over to join her.

"No way that trot was working alone." I nod to the corner where five huge guys are guarding the unconscious gunman. I knocked him out when I brought him down but some over excited rookie thought it'd be a great idea to slam the butt of his rifle into the guy's temple a few times when he started to stir. It'll be a miracle if he doesn't die before they interrogate him, _before I interrogate him_. Because what I _don't _say is that I know exactly who the man is, what organization he works for and that I just spent two weeks tracking him. I'm keeping the information to myself for the moment since it's obvious someone here betrayed us.

"You're right, he wasn't alone." June says catching my eye for the first time since the swarm of soldiers started arriving on the scene demanding her attention "The guards on the entrance saw someone trying to break into a window on the second floor of this building, they called for backup and only left one guard at the ally door…I don't think the assailant was the one who took him down" her mouth is grim when she says this and it takes a lot of effort not to roll my eyes at the information. _How stupid are these guys!_? Create a diversion has got to be the oldest trick in the book. Sometimes I think the military types would learn a lot from a year or two on the streets.

"It would've had to be a whole operation." I agree "someone on the inside, a couple guys outside and short straw over there who got stuck in here with us" I can't help but think that my guy must have become disposable to his bosses because even if he had succeeded in killing Alisha he never would have made it back out alive. Something about this whole thing reeks and I can tell June senses it too. The operation was way too clumsy, what was the motive? Why not just kill The Elector's girlfriend when she was alone on some street corner? If this was supposed to be a message it's a muddy one and I've seen how the black market trade mobs work...subtly isn't really their style.

No, there's something else going on here and I'm positive that the man I got eyes on in Dakota is involved. I desperately want to take June aside and tell her what I know. I'm almost certain now that there's a connection to June. If I show her that picture maybe she'll know something. The Antarcticans won't like it if I get her involved. I should've already reported to my bosses but I feel guilty for not warning June about my suspicions this morning, and they'll want me to keep my mouth shut. Better to act now and ask forgiveness later since there's no way in hell I'm keeping this from her, not if it's going to get her hurt! _ I need to get her alone _I think, there are just too many things I don't understand right now, and it's not helping that I she's keeping things from me. I need some answers.

Answers are what the Elector wants too "Have the medics take the assailant to the hospital in Batalla as soon as they arrive. I want him_ awake_ and available for interrogation by sunrise." he snaps at some poor captain. "Commander Iparis, I want you to ride with them to the hospital and have your wound treated, _no arguments_, we can decide how to handle questioning the security team tomorrow." He's trying to keep his voice even and it softens a little when he speaks to June but he looks like he wants to hit something. I wonder if he has a punching bag hanging somewhere in his home like June does.

June, of course, refuses to go to the hospital. Only she would argue with a direct order from the Elector, she's probably the only one who can. June does it in such a way that it doesn't sound like an argument, rather a categorically logical list of reasons why it's "only reasonable" for her to be looked at by the medics when they arrive and spend the night resting at home.

I marvel at how cleanly she manipulates him until I start to wonder if I'm as pliable in her hands as the Elector. For a woman who failed so miserably at feminine chitchat earlier she is a master at this. Then again they were together for years, I forget sometimes that June and I have only been dating for a few months it feels like she's part of me. Something like jealousy unfurls in my chest when I think of June with the Elector, it's clear he still cares for her and I've never asked why they split. I push the thought away. For whatever reason June is with me now.

When the medics finally arrive they set up a makeshift triage in the restaurant owners office to treat June and the solider that was knocked out cold at the back door. The Elector personally escorts June into the cramped office, which sends the medics into an uninspiring panic. I grit my teeth, the _last _thing I want right now is to let her out of my sight but the room barely looks big enough for two people and at least half a dozen are headed in there. June looks like she's thinking the same thing and her eyes hold mine for a moment like she's willing me not to evaporate before she takes a breath and follows everyone else inside.

I've been so focused on June that I hadn't really noticed much of anything else. After she disappears into the office my eyes wander aimlessly around the room until they fall on Alisha, she sits perfectly still in her chair and her face has that empty, glazed over look. I feel a little bad for her so I crouch down and gently pry her hands from where they clutch at her elbows, "Hey." I say in my best soothing voice "Rough night?" she looks at me like she's just realized there are other people in the room.

"Yeah." she manages in a horse whisper "a little."

She must see pity on my face because her eyes narrow and she says, "I'm not weak you know." I nod, but I don't know, next to June she looks like a broken doll.

"I wasn't afraid." Her chin comes up a little at that and I give her a wry smile.

" Well then you're cracked because that trot was trying to kill you."

She winces. "I just meant that I'm stronger than I look." Her eyes wander to the room where June and Anden disappeared.

"Most of us are." I respond, not really sure if that's the right thing to say.

"Not her."

I laugh, "Lucky for you she's just as terrifying as she looks, yeah?"

"I'm sorry she's hurt." she looks down at her knees "Will you tell her I said thank-you, you know for saving me?"

I pat her shoulder a little awkwardly and nod I don't want to talk about June getting hurt so I change the subject, "So, tell me more about this fan club."

She looks up at me startled and turns bright pink "I can't believe I told you that. "

I sit back on my heels "No really, I'm curious, did you have weekly meetings and posters?"

"Yes. And no. Well…we had a scrapbook." I have no goddy idea what a scrapbook is and I don't think I actually want to find out "My little sister was an even bigger fan of yours than me. She'd die if I told her I met you" her eyes darken for a moment and I wonder what happened to her sister.

Just then Anden walks back into the room, I stand a little too quickly as he comes towards us, he answers my question before I ask it. "June is well. The bullet only grazed her hip and the medic says the wound is superficial." his eyes rest on Alisha and he reaches out to brush a stray hair from her forehead, the anger from earlier has faded. Now he just looks tired "I am grateful for your quick response Mr. Wing," he says quietly. My history with the Elector is almost non-existent in my memory, but I think it's safe to say it was complicated. For a moment though I feel like I understand him.

"Daniel." I correct. He nods "Daniel."

JUNE

RUBY SECTOR

2103 hours

Day and I walk shoulder to shoulder in silence back to my apartment. Anden had wanted to send us with a security team in a jeep, but I refused. It's only three blocks away and I needed a chance to breathe in the night air and organize my thoughts. For the past two hours my body has been coursing with adrenaline and barely contained fury, I am calmer now but unfortunately the effects of the endorphins have begun to fade and I am really starting to feel the pain in my hip.

The medics had wanted to give me painkillers and IV antibiotics but I would only allow them to irrigate the wound and apply a topical numbing agent before they stitched it up. I don't know much about pregnancy but I wasn't going to risk taking medications without knowing for sure they would be safe, since there were seven other people in that room including Anden I didn't ask. My fingers clasp at the ultrasound printout Tess gave me in my pocket I'll call her in the morning and see what she has to say, at least the pills she gave me for nausea seems to be working.

A block away from my apartment, my right boot catches a crack in the sidewalk, a hiss escapes my lips as pain shoots through my side. Day stops and reaches for me, eyebrows furrowed in concern. I quickly school my features but he isn't buying it, he rolls his eyes at me, shakes his head and scoops me up before I have a chance to protest. We continue on, moving faster than we had been before. At first I am rigid in his arms, embarrassed, grateful there is no one else out on the street to witness my show of weakness but then the warmth of his body seems to wrap around me and I rest my head against his neck, taking in his scent and allowing myself to relax for the first time all day. I am suddenly exhausted. Day holds me tighter and I feel his lips press against my hair. No one has held me like this in years…not since _he _carried me through that underground tunnel a lifetime ago. I wonder if he remembers that? I shudder when I think about our argument that day "_you're the reason they're dead._" I think of Tess telling me it's time to let go but I'm not sure I can.

.

It's been twelve years since Metias died but sometimes I still wake from dreams where I watch Thomas stab him through the heart. Thomas _believed _he was doing the right thing, I even think he truly _loved _Metias but if he were still alive I don't know if I ever would have forgiven him. So how can I accept forgiveness from Day and Eden? After all, what I did to them was no worse than what Thomas did to me. I don't deserve something I can't give.

_Metias would have forgiven him._ I know this, and Day is so much more like Metias than I am.

We reach my apartment and Day carries me inside carefully setting me on the worn leather couch before going off to rummage around in my kitchen. Three minutes later he emerges tosses me an icepack and hands me a cup of slightly over brewed tea before sitting down next to me.

"Ok. " he starts "Lets play the sharing game. Why don't you tell me what you're keeping from me and then I'll tell you what I know about the gunman."

That catches me off guard. "You _know _something? Daniel you have to tell me what you know!" I mentally replay and analyze his reactions all night and it's suddenly obvious "You recognized the assailant." It's a statement, not a question. I must be losing it because I don't know how I didn't make the connection before.

"I did, yeah." He sighs and rakes his hands through his messy blonde hair "He's someone I've been tracking for months now June."

"Tracking him? Why? Did you know what he was planning? Why didn't you say something at the restaurant?!" my thoughts are running a mile a minute and for one horrible moment I feel betrayed.

"Of course I didn't know June! How could you think that? It _kills_ me that you got hurt tonight, I…I don't know what I would've done if you…" he doesn't finish the thought and I recognize the ghost of all my own fears as they flit across his face. He leans towards me "I'm going to tell you everything I know June. _Everything_ even if it means I get fired and the Antarcticans put out a warrant for my arrest. I need your advice on this… But it's a long story and… " He stands up and walks away from me agitated "I feel like I'm losing my mind worrying that something is wrong with you that you aren't telling me. So just tell me and then we can move on, yeah?"

He turns back around to face me his palms turned up like he's pleading. That simple, huh? Just tell him and we can move on… I don't know if I want to laugh or cry. Part of me wants to argue with him, to demand he give me all of his information before we get into this, but I promised myself earlier at the clinic and again at the restaurant I would tell him as soon as we were alone, he deserves to know.

I set my teacup carefully on the coffee table and reach for the folded piece of paper in my pocket clasping it in both hands like it's a life raft. My mouth has gone absolutely dry, I look up at him and notice that one of his thumbs is worrying at the paperclip ring he still wears on his finger. If he can carry that piece of me, of us, through all those years how can I question that he won't want to carry this with me into our future? I take a deep breath and steady myself.

"I'm pregnant."

His face freezes and his body goes still. I can tell that whatever he thought I might confess it wasn't that. For a long moment we just stare at each other. Finally he walks slowly over, his eyes never leaving mine, and sinks to his knees in front of me. "You're sure?" he whispers. I nod and hold out the paper I've been crushing in my hand. His long fingers unfold it carefully and his eyes go wide when he understands what he's looking at "Oh my god, June is this…? Oh my god." His hand hovers just over the image "How long have you known?" I don't know what he wants to hear so I settle on the truth "Almost two months."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" he asks quietly and for once I can't read his face, I have no idea what he's thinking.

"I…was afraid" I had no intention of admitting that but I can't seem to stop myself from being honest now that I've started "We've never really talked about the past Daniel, not since right after my birthday. You don't remember everything, but_ I_ do. I remember _every _detail. I sawhow much I hurt you. I can't…I don't ever want to cause _anyone_ that kind of pain again _least_ of all you." I take a deep breath and summon the courage to finish the thought "I thought I wanted you to be able to walk away if you needed to ... but I maybe I was guarding my heart in case you did. A child is a forever sort of thing… I was afraid you wouldn't be ready for forever."

"June, you're totally cracked" I start to protest but he reaches up a hand to stop me "Just give me a second here, ok?" His eyes go back to the ultrasound image "This is…a lot." He takes a deep breath, "But it's a _good_ thing, yeah?"

I hesitate for a moment before I nod. "And I may not have taken biology classes at Drake June but I'm pretty sure these things are a joint effort so it's goddy ridiculous for you to act like you're in it alone!" He reaches a hand to my cheek and his blue eyes bore into me "I'm not gonna walk away ok? Not unless you kick me out when you realize what awful tea I make. But you can't walk away either. Not again. I _know_ why you did… I love you for wanting me to be happy but from here on out we walk together, yeah?"

My vision swims with tears and I don't trust my voice to speak so I just nod again. Day nods back and then his eyes are drawn back to the photo, "Hell June, This kid is going to be goddy _brilliant_…we are in _so_ much trouble." I laugh and a feeling of relief washes over me,

"That's pretty much what Tess said".

Forty-seven minutes later, as promised, Day and I have circumnavigated back to discussing the events at the restaurant. He filled me in on his work over the past few months and explained his nagging suspicion that the man he found in Dakota has a connection to me.

I am not particularly surprised. After tonight's security breach it's clear that _someone_ close to Anden is working for the organization Day described. Since I am familiar with just about everyone who's closely connected to the Elector it makes sense that I would know him. I am constructing a mental list of everyone that Day might remember from ten years ago when Day, who left the room to retrieve his tablet with the photo on it calls out to me. "June…" his voice sounds odd. I rise stiffly from the couch wishing I had asked the medic for a packet of the numbing agent when Day walks back into the room and hands me his tablet.

It is totally blank.

"Wiped clean." He says "No-one could have gotten through the firewalls that easily without the AIA noticing and alerting me."

"What does that mean?" I ask but I already know.

"It means the Antarcticans are cutting off my access. They think I'm involved"


	5. Chapter 5

DAY

I am perched on the roof of the hospital in Batalla sector two hours before sunrise. _This place_ _again _I'm fuzzy on the details but I'm pretty sure my history with this hospital isn't pleasant. I clearly remember breaking out eighteen years ago after being subjected to experiments and left to die in the basement and I have broken flashes of all sorts of other fantastic memories here too. If I'm going to have a private chat with the gunman though it's got to be before they move him to Batalla Hall in a few hours where even _I _wouldn't be able to break in. So June and I decided it'd be worth the risk to try to get to him tonight.

I hadn't exactly _planned _on telling June what I intended to do but after the speech I gave about "walking together" I couldn't very well turn around and sneak off into the night. Besides, she's_ June_… she would have figured it out and followed me anyway. To my surprise she didn't argue with me, she simply agreed that the advantages of interrogating this guy on our terms, without anyone else knowing about it, outweighed the risk. Obviously, someone on the inside is a traitor so it's not safe to trust anyone else. One of the things I love about June is that her logic is pretty much infallible, so she plays by her own set of rules when it makes the most sense to her. Of course she didn't love the idea of letting me go alone but by midnight her hip was so swollen that even_ she _couldn't pretend walking wasn't painful so she grudgingly agreed to stay back.

That doesn't mean she left me without help. It turns out the Elector had gallbladder surgery a few years back and June _memorized_ the schematics of the entire goddy hospital when she organized security for his stay. So now I have a perfectly drawn, handy little map complete with a convenient rooftop entrance to the HVAC system in my pocket. I really can't tell you how much I love this girl. In twenty minutes, June estimates the guards on the gunman will change over and I'll have the best shot at slipping unnoticed into his room.

Twenty minutes is just enough time to think too much. Right now I'm standing on a ledge twenty-four stories off the ground wondering for the first time in my entire life if it's stupid to be up here. I mean one wrong move and I'd plunge to my death. _Not goddy likely _my ego scoffs at me … but it _could _happenand then what? Then I'd be leaving June and the baby…_our_ baby alone the way my Father left us.

_Father. _My hand goes to the pendant at my neck and even though I feel guilty admitting it that word is sort of abstract to me. The memories I have of my Father are good ones but they are few and a little faded with age. The thought of actually _being _someone's Father is...

I keep thinking back on all the years I felt responsible for Tess and then Eden. I did the best I could to take care of them. I _tried_ to be like a father, especially to Eden, but the truth is I needed them just as much as they needed me.

This is different.

I can't describe how but the world seems to have shifted over the past few hours and suddenly June's anger at the restaurant makes perfect sense. For as long as I can remember I've lived moment-to-moment, day-to-day. Even after I didn't need to fight for every meal or worry about surviving another year I hardly put any thought into the future. Maybe it was just habit or maybe it was because I feared the emptiness I felt before I found June again. Whatever it was, I barely thought about anything beyond the end of the week. Now though, now the years stretch out in front of me and I can almost see images of a family, our family, in ten, fifteen, even fifty years. I didn't know I wanted that life but now that it's within my reach it feels _vital._

Standing here, looking out over the city where I grew up, it hits me that the changes June and I fought for actually helped build a better world. Not just for the people and their children but also for _my_ children. The thought doesn't satisfy me though, it lights a fire in me, makes me want to do whatever I can to ensure that the world they grow up in is never corrupted. That the evil June and I survived will never touch them.

I used to believe that evil began and ended with the Republic but I've seen so much more of the world now and the truth is; evil is everywhere. Three months ago I lead an op that thwarted the sale of a dozen girls who'd been pulled off the streets in South America and were being smuggled into Antarctica. Some of the girls were as young as Tess had been when I met her. One little girl even had red hair and giant eyes that looked dead and empty when I carried her out of the disgusting rat infested cellar where they were being held... The memory makes me sick.

That was the mission where Jessalyn and I figured out that the trade mob was making a play to get votes in their favor at the next UN summit. Shortly after we started tracking the gunman who'd managed to get away hoping he'd lead us to bigger fish. I catch myself pacing on the ledge when I start thinking of Jessalyn and the AIA. I guess I should care that the Antarcticans think I'm a traitor. On any other day I'd be raising hell. But my thoughts are just in too many other places and next to June being shot and, oh yeah... pregnant, it's barely even crossed my mind before now.

Plenty of time to figure what _that'_s all about later. Right now my twenty minutes are almost up, I shake my shoulders out and focus. Time to get this show on the road.

I slip into the HVAC system and quickly scale down to the forth floor right above the labs where June thought they'd take a high security prisoner. Thanks to the map it takes less than five minutes, which is pretty impressive, even for me. Sure enough when I arrive I see through the vents that four soldiers are stationed on the front entrance of the ward, fine by me, I won't be going in the front. Rather I shimmy my way to a darkened call room where a single doctor is sleeping on a cot directly below the vent. Soundlessly I open the vent and lower myself into the room. For one moment the doctor seems to sense someone else in the room and he stops snoring, but after a tense ten seconds he turns over and I am free to swing across the cot to the floor. On the way out of the room I grab his lab coat, ID and tablet then, for good measure, I tie on a surgical mask that staff wear if they've got a cold or something they don't want to spread. It's late and pretty quiet on this floor so I'm not really worried about being noticed, especially since my hair is sprayed a dark brown. But if there's one place I'm most likely to be recognized it's in the heart of the Republic. I do a quick loop around the nurse's station pretending to be fascinated by some lab results on the stolen tablet while I map out the floor. One solider is standing outside the room farthest away from the main entrance and lucky for me, nowhere near the group of nurses and doctors who are mostly engrossed in reading reports and sipping their coffee.

Right on time the guard checks his watch and a new solider walks in the door, the old guard is more than ready to leave and the new guy doesn't know what the doctors on this floor look like. The guards meet half way down the hall, as soon as they start talking I stroll confidently into the patient room next door where I wait with the sleeping occupant. Once the new guard is in position I wait for another few minutes before I step out of the room and pause at the gunman's door to pretend to consult my notes. Then I nod at the guard, swipe the ID across the security pad and walk right on in. I estimate I have ten minutes tops before he gets suspicious so once I'm inside I waste no time.

The gunman looks shrunken and a lot older than I remembered. For one second I feel guilty pulling the knife out of my boot and leaning over him, but then the image of those little girls come back to me and I press the knife to his throat with no further remorse. Considering I wasn't sure this guy would survive the night I'm a little surprised when he opens his eyes as soon as the blade touches his skin

"Hello Day."

Well that was unexpected. "How do you know who I am?" I respond, keeping my voice nonchalant, I don't hear Day much anymore and I certainly didn't expect him to have me pegged this fast.

"Not as good as you thought you were, huh? You were _made_." his voice is low and mocking with a thick accent I don't recognize.

"Doesn't explain how you know I'm _Day..._that isn't a name many people outside the Republic and the Colonies use." He grunts once and his mouth presses into a hard line. But it doesn't matter whether he tells me or not because it's obvious now what happened.

"Your contact saw me in Dakota, yeah? He recognized me because _he's _from the Republic." His eyes narrow and darken so that suddenly I have an answer to one of my questions from earlier too. "That's why they want you dead now isn't it? Because you got yourself followed and put your whole dirty operation at risk." He doesn't respond but I didn't expect him to, "So if you're a dead man anyway maybe you just tell me who the hell you're working with and why he wants the Elector's girlfriend dead."

"Is _that_ what you thought? That they want her dead?" He laughs and it is an ugly sound "And here I thought you and that sexy whore of yours were supposed to be the Republic's best and brightest."

I _try_ to keep my anger in check since this guy is clearly hoping I'll lose it but my knife presses a little harder against his skin and a thin line of blood blooms around the blade. The pain just makes him laughs harder.

"Please, kill me. Like you said, I'm already dead."

I take a breath and relax my grip a bit "What were you doing, if you weren't trying to murder Alisha? Sure looked like you were trying to kill _someone_."

"Oh, I was." His gruff voice drips with sarcasm, "But it wasn't_ her_. The organization has_ plans_ for her. I was supposed to take out your little whore so she wouldn't cause trouble, lucky for her you got in my way."

My blood runs cold and my vision swims in red. If I don't step away _right now_ I will kill this man and I do not want him to die that easily. I whip the knife away from his throat and fling it into the wall. Now I _am_ losing it and I'm going to get caught if I don't calm down.

"Why did they want June dead?" I snarl, I can tell the man is enjoying this but I'm too angry to care.

"I told you, _Day _he thought things would be easier without her. Guess she's got a reputation. Doesn't matter though. That tasty little number your Elector's doing is well on her way to Dakota by now, and you can be sure they'll get _everything _they want out of her."

I hate this man. Hate him in a way I haven't felt for anyone in years. He's sick and evil and I can tell he's baiting me. Trying to send me flying out of the room to get back to June or find out what the hell he means by "on her way to Dakota". Maybe he's just trying to make the last few hours of his life entertaining. Whatever it is he's winning.

June might be able to stay here, take a calming breath and dig deeper, figure out what's really going on. But I'm not June and I can't. I barely have enough sense to pull the goddy knife from the wall before I'm out the door.

I don't even bother being sneaky I just walk out. If the guards stop me its fine by me at this point, because I'm pretty sure something's happened to Alisha and I have half a mind to call the Elector right now anyway. But I'm still wearing the lab coat and no one stops me.

The moment I'm out the door of the hospital I call June. She picks up instantly.

"Day!"

Her voice sounds frantic. June is _never _frantic and it fills me with dread.

"Day, Anden just called. Alisha is gone."

JUNE

BATALLA HALL

0640 hours

When the call woke me this morning I had no recollection of falling asleep.

It must have been before Day left because when I shot awake on the couch there were three blankets piled on top of me and a pillow was tucked awkwardly beneath my head. I had no time to chide myself for not noticing when he left because the moment Anden's voice came across the line I knew something was horribly, _horribly_ wrong.

Nighty minutes later I stand in the conference room adjacent to Anden's office, my hands are clasped tightly behind my back as I stare out the window watching the glow from the JumboTrons on the sidewalk mix with the soft blue light of dawn. I am listening to Serge and Mariana argue and I'm silently willing Anden to say something, _anything_ because I don't know if I can stand another moment of silence from him.

Anden has not said a single word in thirty-six minutes. Not since the encrypted call came through to his private line demanding the Republic cast their vote against new human rights and trade regulations the UN Economic and Social Council intends to put forth at the next meeting of the General Assembly.

In exchange for Anden's cooperation Alisha's life will be spared. If not…well, thirty seconds after the call ended one of my captains came frantically pounding at the door. A small girl with a smudged face, scuffed shoes and a brand new dress had walked right up to the guards outside the gates of the hall and delivered a little ebony box with a red silk bow. Inside was a pinky finger, unmistakably Alisha's. I recognized the subtle gold nail polish she had been wearing last night immediately. We questioned the little girl but all she knew was that a very nice lady had promised to give her a pretty dress to wear for the Elector if she would bring him a present.

The box is closed now but it still sits on the table and Anden has been silently staring at it while both Mariana and Serge do their very best to ignore it and to fill the silence with increasingly loud words. If this situation wasn't so awful I might find it amusing that after so many years I'm stuck in a room listening to these two bicker again. Mariana was officially named Princeps after I stepped down and Serge was appointed last year by Anden to be the Republic's UN representative. Both of them were called here once the political ramifications of Alisha's kidnapping became clear.

Serge is turning a pale shade of lilac trying to explain to Mariana why it is simply unacceptable to bend to the will of the kidnappers. As much as I hate to admit it, I might agree with him. Of course, Serge has personal political stake in this vote, he was on the United Nations Human Rights Council this year and helped draft the law the assembly will vote on in ten days. Until this moment his vote for the Republic was guaranteed. If he backs down it will look terrible for him, but he is bound by the wishes of the Elector.

I am a little surprised that Mariana has taken the opposite stance. She is generally a levelheaded, thoughtful woman and I respect her a great deal. Her argument is that the Republic only represents one vote and it is a relatively minor issue, not something like war or genocide. I wonder what Day would say to that.

I also wonder if Mariana is more concerned about Anden than she is letting on and if his obvious despair is coloring her judgment. After years of working so closely together I think she feels somewhat maternal towards Anden and it has made her protective of him. After we separated she refused to speak directly to me for almost three months. Now, I catch her casting an anxious glance in his direction as she argues her point and I wonder if she would be as quick to dismiss the importance of the human rights vote if it didn't personally affect Anden.

The bitter exchange is gaining momentum; the sound makes my head pound and the pain in my hip flares up. I'm tempted to call them to order the way I would soldiers in the barracks. After all I am no longer the child I was when I last stood alone in a room with these two and this type of behavior is precisely why I walked away from politics. But just as I take a step towards the table Anden finally speaks.

"Enough." His voice is soft but stronger than I might have expected. "Thank-you both for your advice. I will take your assessments into consideration." His words are polite but his meaning is clear, they are being dismissed. Serge opens his mouth like he wants to argue further but when Anden looks at him his gaze is hard as steel Serge's lips mash into a thin line and his words go unsaid. He stands and Mariana does the same, they both bow and I start to follow them as they head for the door.

"Commander Iparis, please stay for a moment." I pause ignoring Serge who glares at me before turning on his heel and walking out the door. He made it crystal clear this morning that he considers the events of the past twenty-four hours to be a monumental failure of behalf of the Elector's security and subsequently myself. He is absolutely right, it was. The Elector spent the night at Alisha's last night and woke early this morning to discover her missing along with one of my younger, recently promoted soldiers. _Somehow _the solider managed to spirit her away without any of the other eight guards noticing a thing.

I wouldn't be surprised if Serge starts lobbying for my resignation. Quite frankly I am not sure I would put up a fight if he did. Before she goes Mariana catches my gaze, her grey eyes are deeply troubled but they do not hold any anger. She places a hand gently on Anden's shoulder for a moment but she is still looking at me, silently imploring me to tell him it is ok to make the selfish decision. Save the girl, live happily ever after.

I don't know if I can.

Maybe that's why he asked me to stay because he knows I won't lie to him. I won't, but I haven't told him everything I know yet either and I'm holding out hope that the plan I've been formulating all morning will be a solution. When we are alone I cross to the table and sit gingerly in the chair beside him. Sitting is more painful this morning than standing but I barely notice. Anden doesn't look at me he simply says, "I can't make this decision right now June."

I resist the urge to reach for his hand. "Maybe you don't have to make a decision at all." I whisper, carful to keep my voice as low as possible so there is no way we are overheard. "At least not yet, I think we have a third option."

I describe my conversation with Day about the trade mob last night and I tell him what Day learned from the assailant this morning. I omit the part about the AIA cutting off Day's access to their system and someone wanting me dead, those are fairly minor details in the grand scheme of things. To his credit Anden doesn't flinch when I confess that I helped Day go behind his back and break into the hospital, I think he is simply grateful for the information.

"Send us go to Dakota." I finish "Daniel believes they are holding Alisha there and I think we can find her and figure out who's behind this."

"June, you have _responsibilities_ here and I haven't forgotten that you were _shot_ last night. I can't, in good conscience, send you on some desperate assignment to find her. I will have to… make other arrangements to get her back."

"You can, and I think you will. I _was_ shot last night and everyone knows it, that's a perfect excuse for me to be absent for a few days. It_ has_ to be us Anden, we simply can't afford to trust anyone else with the information." I know I am walking a thin line here making demands of him so I make sure my voice is gentle when I say. "You can't allow these men to force you into a decision that might affect the lives of thousands of people…. We have a responsibility to the rest of the world now."

Anden's shoulders slump slightly and his eyes dart back to the box on the table, when he looks back at me they are full of sadness and a hint of guilt. I know we are both remembering a time many years ago when he asked Day to make a similar impossible choice. Back then he believed that one life was worth endangering to save the lives of many. Maybe it is, but the choice is not so simple when the one in danger is someone you love more than life itself.

He sighs and nods and his words are barely audible.

"Just bring her back."

**Aside: Thanks so very much for reading everyone,! You are all amazing! I really hope you are enjoying this story so far. I have **_**no goddy clue**_** why these chapters keep getting longer and longer? I **_**might **_**be a little OCD about trying to make sure every single plot point has a backstory and reasonable justification. Anyway I hope you are still entertained! I would love to hear your feedback. Love it? Hate it? Wish something different would happen? Let me know (nicely, preferably ) I can't make promises…I **_**do **_**have a plan… but I'll absolutely take your thoughts into consideration!  
**


	6. Chapter 6

Quick note: This one's pretty short (for me) and its just Day. I really wrote this little section for myself, and my own little fangirl heart. I thought long and hard about whether it really even belonged in my story but in the end I decided to share it with you…. Hope you don't mind. I promise I'll be back to my regularly scheduled programming next time.

DAY

By the time I stumble into the apartment building where Eden and I live I'm only half awake. In the past forty-eight hours I've had maybe four or five hours of sleep? Right after June and I hung up this morning exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks. I've_ got_ to catch a few hours sleep before we head out to deal with this whole goddy mess! Right now, the couch in the lobby looks so comfortable I wonder if anyone would notice if I just crashed there… I'd really like to get this sticky junk out of my hair though so I go ahead and drag myself upstairs. I'm not exactly sure what day it is, Saturday, maybe? The door isn't locked so Eden must still be home.

As living situations go our apartment isn't bad, pretty nice actually. We aren't really into "stuff" so except for the furniture that was already here the place is pretty sparse. Not exactly clean though. Eden has one of those creative minds that can't ever be working on just one thing so there are papers, project models and various computers spread out all over the place. That's probably why I don't notice the clothes on the floor until after I already picked up the pink thing that was hanging off the back of a chair.

It's a bra. It's a pink bra. I don't think June owns anything pink, so this can't be hers, besides she hasn't been here in weeks. My brain is working very slowly right now and I'm still contemplating the bra in my hands when Eden strolls down the hall from the bathroom wearing sweat pants and toweling off his hair.

"Hey! You're back! Man, you look like hell!"

He's so damn cheerful and I'm sure he's right. I'm working on a really clever response when a voice calls out from down the hall and it's owner comes padding into the room in only a towel.

"Eden, have you seen my_" It's Tess.

_Goddy hell!_

Tess freezes and I freeze and Eden just goes right on drying off his hair until he realizes that Tess and I have turned into statues. It's not that I'm _stupid._ Eden's twenty-two and Tess is an adult. But in my head they are both still _ten_ and I've been perfectly happy operating under the illusion that neither of them had ever…that they weren't…you know. Ugh!

"Good-morning Day." Tess has regained her composure and is now glaring at me, daring me to say something.

"Um, morning." I mumble back, how did I not even know they were dating?

"Can I have my…?" She doesn't finish but she holds out a hand and I realize I'm still holding her bra. Oh god. I quickly hand it off to Eden who manages to dredge up a sheepish grin as he passes the thing from me to Tess. Then we all stand there staring at the floor or the ceiling or the wall for another minute until Eden, who obviously doesn't think it's a big deal breaks the silence.

"So, why do you look like you got run over by a Jeep?"

"If I_ did _get run over by a Jeep do you think I'd be able to forget the last five minutes of my life?" I ask. Tess rolls her eyes and Eden just laughs.

"_You've_ already forgotten enough life for one person, yeah?" He's so goddy clever isn't he? I reach over and punch him in the shoulder. Tess proceeds to collect the rest of her clothes with all the dignity of a queen before disappearing into Eden's room and shutting the door a little too hard behind her.

"It's not really that weird, right?" Eden starts once she's gone "I mean I guess we should've told you before but Tess said she wanted to do it and you're gone a lot. So there wasn't really time…"

"Oh, no… not weird at all, why would it be weird?" I pick a shirt off from off the counter and throw it at him, "Of _course_ it's weird Eden! She's like my sister!"

"Yeah, but she's not like _my _sister. That would be_ totally_ weird. So everything's good yeah?"

I groan and throw up my hands, "What am I supposed to do if things don't work out and someone gets heartbroken, huh? Who am I gonna be mad at?"

Eden looks like he's seriously considering this, like it's an actual puzzle to be solved. "Me, I think. I can take it and you never stay mad at me anyway."

This is obviously already a lost cause so I just go ahead and give up, "You guys have to be good to each other then, ok? You're not just messing around right? "

"No. I'm not messing." Eden's face is suddenly serious and for a second he looks older than he is. I recognize the look on his face, I'm sure I've worn it myself; it's the face of a man who's fallen hard. I hope Tess feels the same way.

"Ok, then…just you know, be careful and stuff."

"Is this a sex talk Danny?"

"What? No!... Why? Do you _need _a sex talk little brother?"

"Nope, I think I've got things figured out." He says smirking at me, Ugh! How did we get into this? Would it be this awkward if it was just some girl and not _Tess_? I mean, Eden has _had _girlfriends and I'm sure he's had sleepovers before I've just been blissfully ignoring them. I can't ignore Tess though. The irony of course in Eden's question is that I'm in no place to be giving safety lectures today even if that _had _been what I'd meant. Which reminds me. "Wait, did Tess tell you about June..?"

At this moment Tess walks out of the bedroom perfectly composed and dressed like the well-respected Doctor she is. "No! I did not tell him!" She smacks me on the head on her way to the coffee pot. "It's not my place to tell anyone! I'm really glad she finally told _you_ though! I promised her you would be happy… you_ were_ appropriately happy right?"

"What are you guy's talking about?" Eden asks.

"Of course I was happy!" I say.

"Good. If you'd made a liar out of me I was going to have to kick you or something." She sighs and pours milk in her coffee, "She's already much too tightly wound sometimes than is good for anyone. Whatever she may think she's _not _indestructible and I'd really appreciate it if you'd _try_ and help me make sure she stays healthy."

_Oh god_ I think as my stomach turns sour; "Well…she got shot in the hip at dinner last night so I'm already a goddy failure there. "

"What!" Tess cries and nearly drops her cup.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Eden practically shouts.

I don't really want to tell this story. Especially not right now when I'm feeling like a total trot for not doing a better job protecting June. I really just want to take a shower and sleep for a couple hours but my brother and Tess would never let me get away with that so I tell them as much as I can. When I get to the part about June and the baby I look at Tess for help… I don't know what to tell Eden or if I even should yet. Even though her eyebrows are still furrowed over my description of June's injury she gives me an encouraging nod so I go on. "June's well…June's pregnant. "

" Wow! Daniel really? Eden chirps "Congrats brother! I_ knew_ you had it in you!" He winks and even though I shoot him a dirty look I've got to admit I'm relieved he doesn't feel abandoned or something. I didn't realize I was even worried about that but we've been each other's only family for so long now that I guess I was. Maybe this thing with Tess is actually really good.

Tess, I notice still looks pretty upset. She finishes off her coffee sets it in the sink and takes a deep breath. "I've got to get to work boys, Day…walk me out?"

"Sure thing." I respond wondering what she wants to say that she doesn't want Eden to hear. I wait by the door while she grabs the rest of her stuff and then I pretend to be extremely interested in the doorknob while she and Eden say good-bye for at least three minutes longer than necessary.

We take the stairs instead of the elevator and once we are alone in the stairwell she stops.

"I'm sorry about Eden."

"Don't be."

"I am though, I should have made sure it would be ok with you. I know it's got to be weird as hell….I, I think I'm in love with him."

Honestly, that actually makes me feel better; since it's pretty obvious Eden's a gonner. I'm about to tell her that but she goes on before I can.

"But I love you too. You're my _family_ and I wouldn't ever want to jeopardize that. "

"I know that Tess. Don't be ridiculous! Just you know…lock the door in the future and it'll all be fine." She rolls her eyes again but her face turns red ruining the effect. "Was that everything you needed to tell me?" I ask.

"No…" Her eyes are stern now, "Day, I'm worried about June ok. It's nothing serious but not all of her numbers were perfect yesterday and I really, _really _want to make sure you guys are being cautious." She pauses like she's searching for words. "I feel like it's pointless to tell you two not to get into trouble. I'm not a goddy idiot I _know _you're already planning to find that girl and save the world. I just want you to remember that neither of you can afford to lose this baby. I watched _both _of you suffer for way too many years and I can't take that again…so just be careful ok."

If anyone but Tess had said that I might be angry, but she's right, she was there for both of us during some very dark times and she has _every right_ to be honest with me about her fear. I pull her into a hug and say, "I promise I will not let anything happen to June… or the baby."

"You can't make that promise Day… " She mumbles into my shirt "But you can promise you'll be smart. And you sure as hell better promise you'll send her to me _tonight _before you do anything else ok? I can't _believe _she didn't go to the hospital last night!"

"You can't?"

"Ugh. I _can_, but that pretty much proves my point!" We stand there for another second and I'm feeling very grateful to have someone like Tess in our lives until she pulls away and wrinkles her nose at me.

"Day…you really need a shower."

I guess the moments over, "Thanks cousin." As soon as she's out the door I head back upstairs to do exactly that before falling into a, thankfully, dreamless sleep.

Hours later when I wake up on the couch Eden is sitting cross-legged on the floor, a ring of papers surrounds him but he's watching me.

"Hey Danny?" he says quietly.

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to tell you I think you'll be a pretty amazing Dad."

"Thank's kid." I say past the lump in my throat.

I hope he's right. I stare at the ceiling and think about what Tess said. I really hope I get the chance… Just then my earpiece alerts me to an incoming call. It's June. She's got the Electors consent and everything's ready.

Time to go.

**One last thing: **

**I'd just like to take a moment and say I really, really respect ALL of the work that everyone does here. It's a pretty great community and I have had a lot of fun reading everyone's version of the awesome June/Day love story. None of us own these characters but in many ways we **_**all **_**do. That's the beauty of books, yeah? When an author sets her story free her creation gets mixed with each reader's individual experiences and speaks to us through the filter of our own lives. A really great story (like Legend) lives on to become a part of us, a part of our **_**real life**_** story. You may like my version of the Legend afterlife or you may find it boring as hell. (I would **_**not **_**blame you…its gotten way longer than I imagined). Either way, it certainly isn't the truth of the story. The way I see it until the day Marie Lu answers my prayers and writes me the Novella I so desperately want to read…until then, we all share the keys to the these beautiful characters and it's been an honor for me to do so with all of you.**

**Okee dokee philosophizing over. (unless you want to chat then feel free to PM me!) As always I'd LOVE to hear what you thought! Have a fantastic week! **


	7. Chapter 7

JUNE

2347 hours

Wyoming

The gentle rocking of the train car has lulled me into a dreamlike state. I had every detail of this thirty-three sq. ft. car catalogued less than a minute after we boarded so thirty-six hours and eighteen minutes into our forty-two hour trip with nothing else to focus on I am watching Day sleep.

He is beautiful when he sleeps. One arm hangs off the tiny bed and the other is tossed across his face. I can't see his eyes but every so often his absurdly perfect lips twitch and I suspect he dreams. I sit on the end of the small bed with my knees pulled into my chest and my head resting against the wall, my hands ache to reach out and trace the line of exposed skin where his shirt has inched up his torso but I don't touch him. I don't want to wake him. Sometimes I have this foolish notion that if I disturb moments like these the thin bubble of this world where the two of us exist together will burst and he will simply cease to be. So instead I sit here content to match my breath to his and count the passage of time in the beats of his pulse against the skin of his neck.

At first I was opposed to the train, frustrated that we would waste nearly two days in transit alone. However air travel in the Republic is controlled by the military and all passengers are rigorously documented and far too easy to track. By taking the train Day and I were easily able to slip out of the city unnoticed and book passage under an alias. The forty-two hour delay may not be ideal for the mission but it _has_ given my hip time to heal enough to be functional.

Day flat out refused to go anywhere until I checked in at the Hospital with Tess. I don't know what she said to him but whatever it was must have struck a nerve because I could see from the way his eyes flashed that it wasn't worth putting up and argument. Ultimately it was a good decision since I had already managed to tear out some of the original sutures and without antibiotic an infection had begun to set in. Tess re-closed the wound and loaded us up with meds and supplies. Our bag is more cumbersome now than I'd like but Day and Tess both looked more relaxed when we left.

I smile to myself when I remember Tess describing her run in with Day. I can picture the look on his face as clearly as if I had been there myself. I _wish_ I had been there it must have been priceless. I hadn't known about her and Eden either but I knew she was seeing _someone _and that she was being unusually tight lipped about it so Eden had been right at the top of my list. Maybe it was because I like the idea of her and Eden together. They seem to fit, both of them gentle and vibrant, miraculously untainted by the trauma of their childhood.

Outside snow has begun to fall fast and hard in icy sheets that cling to the tiny window. A flash of lightning blazes across the sky and a crack of thunder follows. I have never heard thunder during a snowstorm and the sound draws me of my thoughts. Carefully I rise from the bed stretching my cramped limbs as I go and press my hand against the window gazing out into the darkness at the barely discernible landscape. We are in Wyoming now; this part of the country is vastly different from Los Angeles, wilder with an uncontrolled sort of beauty.

"June?" behind me Day is awake, his blonde hair messier than usual. "How long have I been asleep? Are we close?"

"One hour, twelve minutes, nine seconds and three thousand eight hundred and fifty seven heartbeats." I reply automatically. "We have five hours and forty two minutes to go."

"Heartbeats?" He asks confused and my cheeks go warm, I hadn't intended to mention that bit.

"Yes well, I couldn't sleep and there isn't much else to do in here."

"Hmmmm… you're right." His eyelids are still heavy but he gives me a mischievous grin. "You must be _so _bored. I _wonder _what we could do to fix that?" He rises from the bed and takes a single step in my direction. In the cramped space one step is enough to bring him close enough that I can see the tiny imperfection in his eye as he scans the length of my body. His hands reach out and grasp my waist pulling my hips gently into his own. Heat rolls off of him filling my chest with warmth. The air behind me seems suddenly frigid and shiver runs through me.

"June, are you ok?" His flirtatious tone is abruptly replaced with one of concern.

"I'm fine." I nudge his chin with my forehead and press myself in closer trying to direct his thoughts back to their previous objective.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to get sick. Are you taking the meds Tess gave you?" He grabs the faded green fleece blanket from off the bed and begins tucking it around my shoulders like he's afraid I might shatter.

"Daniel" I sigh "Are you going to treat me like a wounded bird for the next six and a half months?"

"Probably." He gives me a wry grin but I can see anxiety in his eyes as he reaches a hand up to my cheek. I won't survive all those months if this sort of thing continues so without warning I block the trajectory of his hand and sweep a leg beneath his sending him stumbling back onto the bed where I pin his arms above his head and immobilize his body beneath mine.

"Then I'll have no choice but to defend myself against your ministrations and we both know you'll lose." I lower my head so that my lips brush against his ear. "I'm very dangerous you know."

"Mmmm… Oh I know." He frees his hands and they trail across my cheek, my neck and down along my waist where they grip the hem of my shirt and begin to guide it up my back, "If you weren't so goddy _dangerous_ we wouldn't be having this conversation."

I sit back sliding out of the shirt as I go. I run a finger down the lines of his chest and lift an eyebrow at him. "I thought it was a _joint effort_." My hands begin methodically picking apart the buttons at his chest.

"Hm. _So _clever." Suddenly he sits up and slips a rough hand under my hair to grasp at the back of my neck. He pulls my mouth down parting my lips with his own and kisses me with such intensity that I feel lightheaded. As much as I was trying to steer him back to this place the sudden hunger of his hands against my skin catches me off guard. He lifts me up and flips us around, pressing me into the mattress. His hands glide along my legs and I give up on the buttons and simply tear the shirt up over his head weaving my hands into his hair and pulling him back down. He moves against me and he is all fire and emotion. My thoughts run together as my breath becomes uneven and I begin to lose track of the passing time. My last clear thought is that Day was right about this being a better way to combat boredom.

In the early hours of dawn I wake tangled up against him, cocooned in warmth on the tiny bed. For just an instant I wish I could stay in this moment, that we could simply spend the rest of our lives isolated from the world and it's troubles traveling back and forth on the train. I shake the thought from my mind and unwrap myself from Day. Evil will persist whether we stand against it or not but the choice to hope and fight for a better world makes us who we are.

DAY

June and I are crouched in the shadows on the third floor balcony of a darkened building. We're watching the ally below and the scene is so similar to my dream a few nights ago that when I remember the way it ended I can't help but feel a sense of foreboding. A bitter gust of wind tears through the night and the cold claws it's way through my layers of dark clothing. I shoot a quick glance to my left at June trying to assess her without being obvious. Her lips have gone a little blue and they've begun to tremble but she doesn't seem to notice, her concentration is fully directed on the three men we followed here. I want to reach out and put an arm around her but I think better of it. Besides I'm not any warmer than she is right now.

Instead I watch the men and wish for the millionth time that we had managed to snag a pair of the glasses that would've allowed us to see all of the virtual information that is everywhere, even in this pioneer city. But we had to jump the train just before we reached our destination to avoid border patrol and we haven't come across anyone with a pair we could easily lift. I never had the chip implanted myself. By the time Eden and I moved to Ross City I'd had enough surgery to last a lifetime and I refused any more, even if it would've made life a lot easier. I did ok with the glasses and it was nice to be able to unplug from the constant stream of data sometimes. Right now though a little extra information would be extremely helpful. The Antarcticans would never admit it but it's plenty easy for people with the right set of skills to hack the system and cheat the game, or hide from it. Undoubtedly that's what these trots and anyone tied up in this dirty mess are doing... but sometimes the lies people tell are just as revealing as the truth.

I glance over at June again and this time I can't help it, I scoot a little closer to her and try in vain to shield her from the wind. She must be colder than I thought because she gives me a small grateful smile and angles her body into mine. It's been a long cold day since June and I arrived in this small border city. After orientating ourselves we decided the best place to start looking for information was at the restaurant where the gunman had met his contact. We got lucky pretty quickly coming across this trio of trots who spent all day loading sketchy looking merchandise from the basement into a delivery truck. The real kicker came when just after nightfall three girls, barely teenagers, decked out in heels and tiny skirts without a coat in sight were lead out of the building and shut up in the back seat of a car that drove away behind the truck. Even June looked like she wanted to just shoot the guys instead of following them when she saw the way the men touched those girls.

I'm glad we did follow them though because this place looks promising. Situated on the outskirts of the city, we followed the men in the truck to a nondescript warehouse that is clearly more than it seems. First off there are guards at every entrance and exit, they wear street clothes and their weapons are concealed but it's completely goddy obvious what they are. Secondly the doors and windows have a high tech security system that places like this wouldn't bother with, you know, in case someone managed to get past those big guys and their guns. Of course that's exactly what June and I want to do. In the last three hours we've staked out the place from different vantage points, getting the layout of the building and watching people come and go. We've seen four other deliveries both of women and products. I'm pretty sure June's even memorized the complex security code the guards use to let people enter the building...although I don't think going in the front would be a great idea even if she had.

Another gust of wind howls past us sending icy snow swirling into the relative shelter of the balcony. June's body goes ridged beside me and I'm done, I can't stand to watch her freeze anymore. We got what we came for tonight and we accomplished more today than I'd hoped. Those trots aren't going to give us anything else. It's time to get back inside thaw out and decide what our next move will be.

I nudge her and set two fingers against my brow in the signal I've been using for years that it's time to stop. When I suggested it to June earlier she looked stunned for a moment before she started laughing. I'm not really sure why? Maybe it _is_ a little simple but it's nice and subtle and it's always worked for me. June doesn't laugh now though, she just nods in agreement and the two of us begin scaling our way over to the next building, out of the line of site and then down to street level. When we're a few blocks away and heading in the direction of our hotel it's finally safe to talk.

"We have to get inside the warehouse." She states. I sigh because I know she's right I just wish there'd been a good way in… and fewer guns.

"Yeah. Not tonight though ok? We should rest and regroup, figure out what the best point of entry is and what we're gonna do once we're in. You saw those basement windows?"

"Of course. Reinforced, impact resistant glass, with homeostatic air regulation features. Whatever was down there is important and protected, probably a great place to start looking for Alisha."

"She might not even be at this warehouse you know. There could be dozens of others." I don't know what's got me so pessimistic tonight maybe it's that nagging feeling that this is all about to blow up in our faces and the fear that something terrible will happen to June when it does.

"That's true, but in a city this size I think it's unlikely. The operation here already looks too big to stay under the radar for much longer with the Antarctican government. Didn't you tell me this organization has places like this all over the world so that no one country would be able to shut them down? Statistically our chances of finding Alisha at that location seem pretty high."

"Ok then, we break in." I loop my arm around her waist and pull her close, "Got a plan?"

"Not exactly. I've got the security code they're using for the door. Obviously we won't be walking in the front but I'm hoping they'll use the same code or a derivative of it on the locks inside. I think our best bet is to go in the morning after the deliveries are complete but before sunrise and try for one of those fourth floor windows, they had normal glass and the rooms up there looked unused. "

That's pretty much what I'd thought too. Except for the part about the door code…. which I'm not sure I understood. We reach the small rundown motel where we've rented out a room and the wind chases us inside. I've been to Dakota a few times and stayed here before. The withered old women who owns the place is a former republic citizen with no love for Antarcticans, or anyone really, which is good because she asks no questions and doesn't much care who comes and goes as long as they pay up front.

Our limbs are still frozen like blocks of ice and we climb the three flights of creaky stairs up to our room slowly. When we reach our door I fumble around looking for the key until June reaches out and plucks it from the shirt pocket I dropped it into earlier. When she hands it to me I trap her icy hand trying to warm it in mine and push the strands of dark glossy hair that have escaped her ponytail back from her forehead. Her endless eyes are soft in the faded light of this lonely hallway and when she rolls up on her toes to kiss me her lips are surprisingly warm. I stand here for a moment drinking her in and wondering if it would be completely cracked of me to scoop her up and carry her over the threshold of this dusty little hotel room. Maybe she would think it was romantic….or maybe she would punch me. I settle for grasping her around the waist careful to avoid her sore hip and opening the door with one hand while I pull her small frame inside with the other and kick the door shut. I unravel her black scarf and my lips work their way eagerly down her neck as I hold her closer and direct us both further into the darkened room.

But we are not alone…

The woman steps smoothly out from the shadows behind the door calmly pointing her gun at us. Her golden blonde hair shines like a halo around her shoulders in the dim light from the window and her full red lips are lifted in a deadly smile. Jessalyn.

"Hello Blue." She purrs at me, her _own_ blue eyes flashing dangerously, "Fancy running into _you_ here."

_Goddy Hell._

**Aside: Not gonna lie. I struggled a bit with this chapter… it didn't go exactly where I planned and there were a lot of nitpicky rewrites but I hope it was still worth reading! I'd love to hear what you thought. **

**Have a lovely week! **


	8. Chapter 8

JUNE

2237 hours.

Dakota.

"And you must be _June_."

Her voice is thickly accented, throaty and rich but with an air of pretentiousness that is impossible to miss. When she speaks my name she takes her time drawing it out like molasses. The features of her porcelain face are just as relaxed making it clear she knows she has the upper hand.

My eyes never leave her as I analyze our position. We are too close to the corner of the room, a _terrible _place to be in a gunfight since there is a statistically higher probability of stray bullets ricocheting into corners. We outnumber her two to one but neither Day nor I could reach our weapons before the woman could shoot us. From the positioning of her body and the way she holds her gun it's clear this woman knows what she's doing, any obvious attempts to disarm her would be dangerous.

_So I won't be obvious._

I let the ache in my hip and the exhaustion I feel from spending hours out in the freezing cold wash over me, my shoulders slump and I sway slightly on my feet my eyes flit around the room as though I'm frantically looking for an escape. Next to me Day's brow furrows in surprise and concern, he leans into me slightly trying to prop me up. Fortunately he isn't the only one who notices the show of weakness.

"I have heard _so_ _much _about you June." The woman's eyes wander over me and her full upper lip lifts in a sneer. "I must admit I'm disappointed Blue, from the way you describe her I thought she would be a little more…impressive."

"Aw Jessa", Day says and even though his muscles are coiled to spring his face is a mask of calm arrogance "Be nice. You don't want her to ruin your pretty face, yeah?"

The woman laughs but her eyes flash and despite the dim light I see a hint of color creep into her cheeks, whatever history she and Day have must be complicated and apparently unresolved. Her gun still covers us both but she no longer thinks of me as the primary threat, her eyes linger on Day for a moment too long and that is all I need.

I launch myself at the woman grabbing her arm in one hand and twisting the gun out of it in the other. With her balance offset I easily pull her forward and my knee connects with her diaphragm. She is startled and winded but she is not an amateur, she twists away from me and her forearm comes up to block my next punch just as her long leg kicks out. It is exactly what I would have done, so of course I am prepared. I side step the kick and catch her leg in my free hand using her own momentum to redirect her body's path. Before she can regain her footing I strike her hard across the face with her own gun and she collapses instantly to the ground where I train the weapon at her head. There is an ugly gash above her left eye, Day was right the effect does _not _enhance her beauty.

"So, Daniel. Tell me, who _is _our lovely guest and why does she call you _Blue_?" He shifts his weight awkwardly from one foot to the other and his eyes travel back and forth from me to the woman at my feet.

"Her name is Jessalyn, she's… she _was _my partner…. At _work_, I mean. We work together…did work together… She's an agent. Blue is a codename…because my eyes are…um."

"An agent? " I raise an eyebrow and stare down at the _agent's_ unconscious form, "How did she find us?" He pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and shakes his head.

"Because I'm a goddy idiot. I stayed here before….with Jessalyn. I should have known the Antarcticans would send her after me…. June, I'm sorry."

"Alright…"I sigh and shake my head to clear it. I have a few questions about some the details he glossed over but now is not the time, "We should tie her up before she wakes. There are handcuffs in my bag." I roll her over with my foot and Day finds the handcuffs and clamps them to her writs before lifting her up and setting her into a chair. We have just finished strapping her down with our belts when her long dark eyelashes flutter and her head rolls back.

"I guess your commander isn't nearly as _useless_ as she looks?" She croaks. The words are barely above a whisper but her tone is still haughty…I can't help but admire her for it.

"I _told_ you Jessa, you never listen." He crosses his arms across his body, "Why are you here?"

"To find out if you're a traitor of course." She replies, suddenly fully awake.

"And why would anyone think I was a traitor Jessalyn?" He asks warily.

"Because I told them you were _Daniel_." She snaps.

"What!" His composure is gone and his hands fly out to the sides "Why!?"

"Because you were too close to the action." I interject, "You had all the information and ample opportunity. You were the only one with knowledge of the organization here in Dakota and access to Anden. Who else could have known what restaurant we would go to the other night?"

"June!" Day practically shouts, "You can't think I'm blackmailing your Elector?!"

"_No, _I do not." I respond calmly, "But it's perfectly reasonable, logical even that _she _might come to that conclusion. I assumed something like this had happened when the AIA froze you out." He begins pacing the length of the room his hands tugging at his hair. "What I _don't_ understand is how you followed us." I say turning my attention back to Jessalyn, "I swept the train thoroughly. Twice. I would have noticed _you_."

"I didn't follow you June." She sneers, "I didn't have to, as soon as we realized Daniel had left the Republic I came here. I knew he would head back to Dakota and this little place has a lot of history for us you know… He's such a creature of habit isn't he?"

She is baiting me, I smile like I pity her but I can't quite keep a flare of jealously from rising in my chest. _Of course_ Day would have been with other women, probably _many_ over the past ten years. He's Day! He is a deadly mix of charm and ego with something a little dangerous and a lot of alluring. Not to mention that heartbreakingly beautiful element of goodness he has, a _light _really, no dimmer now Than it was when we were teenagers. I wonder if he loved her? It shouldn't matter. It doesn't matter.

"And what was your plan once you had us?" I ask without missing a beat, "Turn him into your government? I can't imagine you have any grounds for arresting _me_."

"You mean other than unauthorized border crossing?" She deadpans.

"That wouldn't hold up and you know it." I reply.

"I don't think she was going to turn us in." Day says, rejoining the conversation.

"Oh? She was just holding us at gunpoint for a friendly chat?" My voice comes out more harshly than I had intended and I'm not sure why. Day looks uncomfortable and Jessalyn smiles, my hand twitches while I briefly consider how she would look with a gash across the other eye to match the first. _What is wrong with me_? I take a breath and catch Day's eye silently apologizing. He walks over to me placing a hand briefly on the small of my back before turning to Jessalyn.

"You followed us today?" He asks.

"I did." She purrs, "You should be proud really, I even lost you two for a while which is impressive… you_ know _how good I am." Her head tilts head coyly, exposing her long white neck. Day ignores her and turns back to me.

"If she was going to report me she would have done it already, I think there's a reason she came here and waited for us." He says.

"And you think we can trust her to tell us the truth? Do _you _trust her?" I ask. We stare at each other, silently passing thoughts back and forth. He knows I don't like the circumstances. But he also knows I will trust him if he asks me to, it's how we have always operated an unwavering truth at the heart of our relationship.

"You two are so serious, you know that?" Jessalyn says breaking the silence. "You're hardly any fun anymore Blue. He used to be so much fun June." I think I despise this woman and I don't even feel particularly bad about it.

"But I'm right, yeah?" Day says leaning forward, "You had plenty of time Jessa, but here you are. Why?" Jessalyn purses her lips and her eyes close her coquettish smile is gone. She looks serious and for the first time I notice a fine web of lines around her mouth. I wonder how old she is, early thirties perhaps?

"I got here a few hours before you did I followed you from the hotel and watched you all day… I expected you to… well, you didn't do anything I expected and honestly just bringing June with you made me doubt myself." She looks at me and her bright blue eyes are fiery again, "No offense kitten but you have quite a reputation for being a good little Republic solider, definitely not a traitor. Besides I didn't think you'd be the type get those pretty hands dirty in a mess like this." She's one to talk! I have never once worn _lipstick _to track someone.

"Ok" Day says, "So you were wrong, why not just tell the bosses? Why come in here with a gun? Someone could have been hurt!"

"You mean _June_ could have been hurt" she hisses, "I didn't say I thought I was wrong, I just said I had doubts. I never said I trusted you or that I don't think the whole thing is suspicious…"

"It is." I say my thoughts starting to whirl. "It's all conveniently suspicious." Something isn't right. I'm missing pieces of this puzzle but I feel like if I could just take a few steps back I'd see the whole picture and it wouldn't matter.

"Lovely, glad we agree darling. Now that we are all on the same page you'll be thrilled to know I've decided to help you break into the warehouse." She says.

"Excuse me?" I say a little take aback. "Why would we agree to work with you? You just said, not thirty seconds ago that you don't trust us."

"I don't." She shrugs. "So it only makes sense for me to go with you."

"Sorry Jessa." Day says, "I think this is a closed operation."

"Oh really?" She asks, "And you two are perfectly prepared? You have access to the game _and _you managed to hack into the network those thugs are using to fool the system? I suppose your commander speaks perfect Antarctican and_ your_ accent miraculously improved sometime over the last week?"

Sometimes I despise my affinity for logic it makes rational arguments impossible to ignore even when they're thrown in my face soaked in sarcasm.

"She's right." I say swallowing my pride, "She can access the game and if she really has hacked their system it could make a huge difference to us… It would be foolish not to accept her help". I turn to Jessalyn who watches me.

"But if you do anything to cross us, _anything_… I won't even hesitate, I will kill you."

**Hi there lovely readers! I am trying something new here so please let me know how it works for you… My DAY/JUNE chapters for this section just seemed way too long to post together so I've decided to split them up in hopes that they'll be easier to read… ?**

**I've been trying to keep the chunks of narrative together that tell a specific part of the story so that things flow well. I'd love to know if splitting things up like this is better or worse... or if it doesn't make any difference?**

**Either way…I'm sorry there was a longer than usual delay in updates but I'm being a bit nit picky about things now that June and Day are knee deep in plot. (I'd be very sad if there were super big holes I didn't notice) Either way I'll try to finish edits and post the Day section later tonight. Thanks in advance for your input!**


	9. Chapter 9

DAY

I wake with a start half sitting up in the hotel bed. Next to me June is curled against my side in a tight ball. Her dark hair is spread across the pillow in thick wild ropes, one hand clutches a corner of my shirt and her face is half buried under it in a nest of hair and hands. I reach out to push the hair from her face when I see movement in the corner of the room and I remember why I was supposed to stay awake.

Jessalyn stares at me from the couch across the room her blue eyes almost glowing in the darkness. Despite her protests we handcuffed her to the couch last night and decided to watch her in shifts, June took the first...I must have dozed off sometime during the second. I scramble to sit up without disturbing June while Jessalyn, with a sickeningly sweet smile lifts her hands to demonstrate how easily she was able to slip free of the restraints while I slept. She's mocking me, of course, but she's also pointing out how simple it would've been for her to leave if she wanted to... but she didn't. She's still here and she intends to work with us.

I climb out of bed and walk over to her leaning against the wall next to the dusty old couch. "You look pleased with yourself."

"And_ you_ looked like a sleeping princess over there. Your girlfriend did a much better job on guard duty you know, maybe the two of us should just leave you behind today."

"And trust you not to kill each other? I don't think so."

"How arrogant of you Blue… I'm sure we'll be like sisters by the end of the day maybe she'll even realize what an utter waste of time you are as a lover."

I sigh and resist the urge to reach out to her since I'm pretty sure it would mean sacrificing a few bones. "I'm sorry if I hurt you Jessa…. I didn't think_"

"No. You didn't. So just shut up ok? I'm over it."

I do. I shut up because I have nothing else to say and no way to apologize for hurting her. I'm a total trot for not realizing that she didn't take our relationship outside of work as casually as I did. At least I'm smart enough to know that it'd be a bad idea to try and explain that I've never loved_ anyone _but June… even when I didn't remember who she was or when I finally _did _start to remember... even then I still loved her. It's why I forgave her for the past, why I never felt whole until I found her again…. It's _always _been June.

Jessalyn stands up from the couch and stalks off towards the bathroom without another word. I go back to the bed and watch June sleep for a few minutes more before I wake her. In sleep she looks as young as the hazy images of the girl I spent years chasing through my dreams. I remember the way my heart was pounding when I first saw her again on that street. How I almost passed her by until I caught her gaze and knew, _knew _she was the missing piece. Even then my brain had struggled to make the connection, she looked so familiar and then she didn't … I'd heard parts of our story but they didn't really click, it all felt like someone else's dream. None of it seemed real, not until I finially stood there in front of her and looked into her eyes. Not until she'd taken my hand and given me her name… I stare at her now and send prayers out to whoever listens to those things, my mother, John…her brother? _Just keep them safe_ I think I don't want to lose her again.

An hour later the three of us stand out on the fire escape of a building adjacent to the warehouse. We've been watching the place for the last twenty minutes. We saw the last _shipment _come in and confirmed that they've only got a skeleton crew of guards now at this hour.

Everyone agreed that the fourth floor windows were the best point of entry, nothing but regular glass and not even a six-foot jump from the fire escape to the window ledge, _easy_ for someone like me. June hands me the glass cutters she lugged around in that bag of hers, I don't even know what else she has in there but I'm starting to understand why she didn't think there was any room for medicine.

"Careful." She says.

I pretend to look offended for a moment then I smile and wink before turning to leap across the distance. I land like a cat on the ledge and quickly go to work cutting out the window and sliding it carefully to the ground inside the empty room when I'm done.

The temperature inside is as cold as the outdoors; my breath hangs eerily in the air while I check to make sure that nothing but crates haunt the room. When I'm done I head back to the window and motion for the girls to join me. June sails through the window barely a second later rolling to the ground and rising to her feet in one clean motion. Jessalyn is slower, her long body easily makes the jump to the ledge but there is a tense minute where her hand misses the hold she was aiming for and she nearly loses her balance. June and I both reach out to steady her, she clings to the window and takes a few long, steadying breaths before brushing us off and climbing inside. She was never much of a runner that one, her talents lie…elsewhere.

Once everyone is in the three of us move quickly to the door and out into the hallway, as anticipated the fourth floor is a ghost town. June and I turn to Jessalyn for any information from the digital overlay that we might be missing but she shakes her head and we continue on to the stairwell. The door is locked. June steps forward and studies the lock screen before trying the code from the front door 6283184 it flashes red. Immediately she tries another 3141592 the pad turns green, and the door clicks open.

"Hm. Well that's not particularly original." she mutters to herself.

"What isn't?" I whisper, as we start down the stairs careful to move soundlessly and stick to the shadows.

"The code. It was pi; the original was just a multiple of pi. I thought about it before but it seemed so_ basic_ I almost didn't try it… But you only get three shots before those locks sound an alarm so I decided not to ignore the obvious."

"Oh yeah, obvious." I say but I'm not sure she catches the sarcasm in my voice.

"We are _obviously_ going to get caught if you two don't shut up!" Jessalyn hisses from behind us. And we continue in silence down to the first floor where we run into our first real problem.

The stairwell we are in ends and we have no option but to leave it and look for another entrance to the basement. We slip out of the door and into the main loading dock where we almost collide with two gigantic security guys. Fortunately their backs are turned giving us a chance to disappear behind a row of crates.

"How do you want to do this?" I murmur. But neither Jessalyn or June is listening to me, Jessalyn is busy taking down her hair and unbuttoning her top and June is watching her with a look of disbelief.

"When in Rome…" Jessalyn says with a shrug motioning for June to do the same. I know June well enough to know she'd rather just sneak up behind the men and take them down it would be a lot less risky but Jessalyn has other plans. "Come on Commander… They don't look particularly smart, I think we can get them to take us where we need to go you just have to play the victim for a few minutes. I _know _you can do that, I've seen it." June shakes her head but begins to remove a few of her dark layers when she's done Jessalyn gives her a once over before reaching out and tearing open the front of her shirt leaving her looking cold and a little too exposed.

To my surprise June _doesn't_ try to kill her, there is steel in her eyes but she nods once and offers her hands to Jessalyn who turns to me and says, "Follow us as closely as you can, don't be seen." Then she grabs June roughly and pulls her out into the open. _Thanks for the advice sweetheart _I think but they're gone before I can say it.

Sometimes the key to espionage is acting like you belong no matter where you are even when it's completely goddy obvious that you do not. When Jessalyn pulls June directly up to the two men they are both so completely in character that the men barely even seem to register how cracked it is that they appeared out of nowhere. Or maybe they are just too distracted by the sight of them to notice. I can't blame them there.

"Well, well what's this?" The bigger guy says.

"I caught this one outside." Jessalyn says giving June a shake as she pretends to tremble and fight, "Trying to make a run for it. You idiots must not have been watching the last shipment carefully." Both she and the man speak Antarctican, I wonder how much of it June understands.

"Who are you?" the other man asks. He is smaller but his face is more intelligent, "I know I haven't seen you before, I sure as hell would have noticed those." He points his gun at her chest and the bigger man snickers.

"You haven't. Senka sent me." I cringe at the way she casually throws one of the organization's leaders into the conversation but the men seem to believe her they glance at each other and stop staring at her chest.

"Senka?" The smaller one asks nervously but still a little suspicious. "I didn't think the big guys even noticed us freezing our asses off up here…"

"Of course they notice! It costs them money when things go to hell doesn't it?" She snaps, "Don't worry." Her voice softens and she sidles up a little closer to the man, "I'm not here to make enemies with _you_… I'm here for your boss. He hasn't been sticking to the plan." The men relax a little and smile. The secret dream of every thug is to see the guy in charge squirm; it makes them feel more powerful. I wish she would hurry it up though… skeleton crew or not there's no way these two are the only guards on this level.

June seems to be thinking the same thing and she whimpers a little and makes another show of trying to wrestle out of Jessalyn's grip. "Show me where to put this _thing_ and then maybe you boys can give me a little _inside_ information?" Jessalyn's voice is so seductive it's almost ridiculous but it works and the two men trip over themselves to walk Jessalyn and June across the warehouse and into the basement. I follow silently but I could be blowing a goddy horn and knocking over everything in my way for all that they'd notice. When we reach in the basement I realize it's a good thing we have these trots with us because the door down here requires a retina scan.

"I'm not in the system yet love." Jessalyn says and the giant steps right up to rescue her, poor man.

The minute the door is open and the hall is confirmed clear June breaks character and springs into action taking both men down in clean simple movements before anyone else has time to move.

"There are cameras in here but I saw the control room on the main floor no one was in there so I think they were supposed to be watching them. I'd say we have less than three minutes to find Alisha and get out." June says while she makes futile attempt at re buttoning her shirt. I didn't see the room she's talking about but I'm sure she's right without any other conversation we begin our search.

For all that the security is pretty high tech the basement itself is a nightmare, dimly lit with a long row of iron doors it smells of mold and human waste. It's cold down here and I hear thick wet coughing all around us. Behind one door a small voice moans and it's such a pitiful sound… It reminds me of the time Eden got food poisoning, without thinking I begin moving towards the door.

"STOP!" Jessalyn's voice rings out "Don't touch it! There are motion sensors all over the doors in here." She points to something I can't see and I snatch my hand back. June comes up and pulls me away a look of pain and guilt crosses her face, she doesn't like leaving all these innocent people, kids most of them, behind either but our time is running low.

Suddenly Jessalyn speaks again and this time there is excitement in her voice "Over here." She calls.

We rush over to the door where she stopped. "There's no name over this one." She says waving at a blank space above the door. "The others all have letters and numbers but this one doesn't have anything."

"Maybe it's empty." June says.

"No, there's a list over here." She points to the side, "Food +1, Water +2, Damage -15… Whoa that's high! The others are all -2. I think this is your girl."

"You said there were motion sensors?" I ask.

"Yes," she says and turns to June "If you've got another magic code I can put it in without triggering them."

"Try 1570796." June replies without even needing to think about it, I don't know why that kind of thing still surprises me. Jessalyn doesn't question it, there isn't time, she enters the number and we all watch the light on the screen flash green.

"It's safe." Jessalyn says and pushes open the door.

Inside we find her sleeping on a mat in the corner of the room. For an instant we all just stand there, shocked to have found what we came for so easily. And then she opens her eyes and screams.

She claps a hand over her mouth but the damage is done, "What are you doing here?" Alisha cries in a horse whisper. June is in motion now moving to her and pulling her to her feet.

"Get up, we have to go quickly. "June says, her voice is calm but I can tell she's worried someone heard the scream. Alisha doesn't move, she just stands there cradling her hand. My stomach turns when I see that blood has soaked through the dirty bandage wrapped around it… I guess that really was her finger.

"You can't be here." She whispers.

"She's in shock." Jessalyn says, "Blue you'll have to carry her." I nod and step forward.

"No." Alisha says bringing me up short. "I can't go. You_ have _to leave."

"Absolutely not." June snaps, "We came here for you and we won't leave without you I _will _knock you out if I have to. Now let's go!"

Alisha's eyes go wild and I wonder if she has a fever "NO!" she screams and crumples to the floor.

"Shit." Jessalyn says.

"Help me pick her up!" June demands.

But it's too late; I hear footsteps down the hall and I know we're trapped. June and Jessalyn know it too and all three of us brace for the oncoming fight.

"Get on either side of the door." June orders, "Make them come to us. Don't get cornered." We do what she says leaving her crouched in the middle with her weapon drawn.

June flies at the first man who crashes into the room disarming him and knocking him unconscious in an instant while Jessalyn and I take down the second and third but more file in after them and I hear shots being fired, I can tell we are way too outnumbered and outgunned… Even then, June has a weapon in each hand now and she shoots one of the men in the shoulder and another on the kneecap, the fight rages furiously for what seems like an hour but is probably less than a minute. June would know. Then suddenly there is silence no more guards come into room and the three of us step tentatively into the empty hallway. I hear a thud that sounds like a lock and a faint hiss Jessalyn curses loudly and pushes us back into the room.

"They're gassing us!" She yells, frantically grabbing at her shirt and pulling it over her face.

"With what? How do you know?" June asks trying to remain calm as she lifts her own shirt.

"There's an alarm, I can hear it! And the system is flashing warnings!" She shouts loudly now like she's afraid she won't be heard over the sound even though June and I hear nothing. It doesn't matter there's nothing we can do. A sickeningly sweet scent fills the air now and I know we won't be getting out of this. Not right now.

I reach out to June and she nods and drops her weapons letting me wrap my arms around her. I hold on to her as tightly as I can and burry my face in her hair the two of us simply stand there until my head starts to feel fuzzy and we sink to the ground.

Right before I lose consciousness I look over at Jessalyn and notice a dark stain spreading across her abdomen.

**Thank you, thank-you for reading and thank-you for your thoughts. Again I'd truly love to know what you think and if you have questions or constructive criticisms I'd be happy to address them. Feel free to PM me or if you sign in and leave a review I'll make sure to respond : ) **

**Have a lovely week …."Walk in the light." **


	10. Chapter 10

JUNE

I am alone and all around me there is nothingness only warm light and hazy mist filled with the soft scent of white lilacs. My body is and it isn't, I feel infinite and though I cannot recall how I came to this place it feels warm and safe. For a long time I simply exist here relishing in the soothing calm but eventually I begin to suspect that something cold and dark hovers just beyond the edge of my contentment. The thought fills me with fear and I struggle against the heaviness that I _hope_ is sleep trying to break free of this quiet place back into the real world where I sense something has gone terribly wrong... But then a voice speaks, it seems to come from everywhere, flowing into me and filling my soul, the sound of it alone is enough to quiet my fear and leave me suddenly, instantly at peace.

"Hey, Junebug."

Metias. He stands before me perfectly rendered as though my memory has held on to every last detail and saved it away to construct this image. He is wearing the uniform he had on when I last saw him although the jacket is open and his shirt is half un-tucked. His eyes, black with flecks of gold exactly like mine are warm and his voice is so gentle that even those two small words bring hot tears to my eyes. I have not dreamed of him this clearly in years I hadn't realized it but time had faded Metias in my memories and in my dreams although certainly not in not in my heart...

"You're here." I whisper because even though I know this is a dream it feels like the truth.

""Where else would I be Junebug?" The image of my brother shakes his head and smiles a little sadly. Then he opens his arms and I go into them, surprised to discover that he feels solid and warm although not quite as I remember. My brain does not fabricate us as we were but rather as we would be, I am taller now than I was when he was alive and my hair brushes the bottom of his chin, which he rests on the top of my head. For a moment we do not say anything, he holds me tightly and I nestle into his embrace just like I did as a little girl and breathe him in. The moment goes on forever and ends before it began. Finally I pull away simply so that I can see his face again, there are a million things I want to say and they fill my mind all at once, but the words that slip from my lips are the ones that encompass all the rest.

"I miss you... Every single day, I still miss you."

He nods and kisses my forehead. "I'm proud of you, you know. You've become a beautiful woman and you'll be a wonderful mother."

"I'm afraid." I confess without hesitation because I've already whispered these fears to my brother the way I tell him everything else in hopes that somewhere he hears me.

"I know." He says quietly and then his eyes glint with laughter, "You should be, if she's anything like you'll worry yourself sick over her every day."

"I hope she's like you." I whisper.

"You don't have enough faith in your own goodness June."

I shake my head and rest it back against his chest ashamed of the tears that I feel on my face now. Metias takes a step back and lifts my chin so that I am forced to meet his steady gaze.

"Listen to me June, for once in your life just listen." I smile a little at his gentle teasing. "_Good_ isn't something you are or aren't it's something you strive everyday to be." He hesitates before he going on, "But sometimes you will fail the people you love, we all do."

"Not you" I say and he gives me a stern look.

"Don't be ridiculous… Of course I failed." His eyes close and he shakes his head, strands of dark hair fall across his face exactly as I remember. "I failed you more times than I can count." I start to protest but he stops me. "You're supposed to be listening. " He says tugging at my ponytail "My point is that the struggle for goodness is what makes you strong. And you, Junebug have _always_ fought to be the best version of yourself, you are wiser and more compassionate now because of it."

"I don't know if it's enough" I confide.

"It doesn't have to be. You will go on fighting for goodness and love will fill in the rest.

I bury my face in his dark jacket again and close my eyes. "I love you. " I say my words barely audible. And then because I can feel the vision slipping I add, "Don't go."

"Why do you assume we are gone?" He replies just as softly. I want to say more to pull back and look at him one last time but the darkness has begun to wrap itself around me and my eyes refuse to open. I know the dream is fading so I commit every detail of it to memory and use these last precious seconds to savor the feel of my brother's arms around me.

"June! June Please!" Day's voice breaks through the shadows and calls me back into myself. I feel cold hard concrete against my back and my eyelids are so heavy that it takes an enormous effort to open them even a little, but I hear the panic in his voice so I fight the weight of exhaustion and will myself into consciousness. As soon as my eyes are open pain and nausea wash over me in powerful waves bringing with them memories of the disastrous fight that lead us here.

"June! I need your help! Please!" I turn my head in the direction of his voice ignoring the way my body rebels against the movement and I am surprised to discover him far away from me crouched over something in the corner of the cell.

"Day_" My voice comes out horse and raspy.

"Oh god. June. Thank-you!" He turns to me and I see his face is bleached of color. "I was worried you… June, she's shot, I think she's… please…"

That is when I notice the pool of golden blond hair on the floor and I remember cataloging the wound it's owner suffered just before the gas carried me into oblivion. I roll over onto my side and half crawl to where Day is kneeling beside Jessalyn.

"How long has she been like this?" I ask as analyze the scene. Jessalyn's eyes are closed but I can tell she is conscious by the way she grimaces in pain. Her breathing is sharp and shallow and the shirt Day's holds pressed against her abdomen is soaked with blood.

"I don't know, I just came-to a few minutes ago… I don't know how long we were out."

For once I don't know either but it can't have been too long or Jessalyn would have already bled out. I glance around at our surroundings looking for something to close the wound with and notice for the first time that Alisha is no longer in the cell, our weapons and the small bag I carried with us are also gone. I have no time to consider where Alisha went and why she refused to be rescued because there is no doubt in my mind that Jessalyn is dying on the floor.

"Let me see." I say gently reaching for Day's hand and lifting it away for moment to assay the wound. The bullets were small caliber and the point of entry is not large but she is still bleeding profusely. I have no way of knowing if any vital organs were damaged so I don't know whether bringing the bleeding to a stop will save her life or just prolong her death. Nothing to do but try though so I quickly strip off my own torn over-shirt and nod to Day who lets me take his place.

"See if you can keep her awake." I say using my calm commander's voice. He shoots a desperate glance at me before moving to cradle her head in his lap.

"Jessa?" He says gently slapping her cheek with one hand "Jessa, wake up ok. I need you to wake up and talk to me."

"Shut-up Blue" Her eyes a crack open and they are full of pain but her voice is surprisingly strong. "Can't you see I'm trying to die quietly here? You are ruining my tragically graceful death scene."

No one is going to die right now." I lie, furious that it could be true if only we had more than a shirt to work with. People who don't die instantly of a gunshot wound often survive if they receive prompt medical treatment. But that's exactly what we don't have.

"What do you know?" She snaps at me

"You can't just give up Jessa." Day pleads

"I'm not giving up I'm just a realist. No one gets out of this life alive you know…" Her lips are almost colorless now but they turn up in a wry smile.

"You're cracked." Day says.

"No more than either of you." She says and then she goes quiet again while Day does his best to wake her, his voice growing louder with every passing second. Finally she opens her eyes again although they wander like she is searching for something before landing on Day.

"You weren't a waste…" She says to him. "I just want you to know that. I knew you didn't love me…I tried not to love you either."

"I_ I'm sorry." He says helplessly.

"Stop. I'm trying to be benevolent here. I loved someone once… the way June loves you. I know what that is…I know how it feels when they're gone." She is quiet for a long moment and when she speaks again her voice has faded. "You were empty and now you're not, that's…. good. I'm glad."

"June, she's not making any sense…" He says to me. I don't agree, I think she's making perfect sense but I don't say anything his eyes are frantic and I don't know what to do. I can't fix this, I'm not Tess, I'm not even sure she could save Jessalyn now.

"Just keep talking to her." I say and then I set to doing the best I can with what we've got tearing strips of cloth, packing the wound and wrapping her torso while Day tries to engage her with stories about their more outrageous escapades. Day and I do not talk much about the years we spent apart; we don't talk a lot about the past at all… Most of what he says now is completely new to me. It is the story of Daniel an arrogant newbie agent who got into a lot of tight scrapes with his fearless partner, sometimes lover.

Hearing Day talk about his life without me is surreal. In many ways it is exactly what I always wanted for him but I can't deny that my heart aches when I realize how much of his story I don't know. If we make it out of this I resolve to discover the whole of him Day and Daniel everything he was and is.

Jessalyn does her best to listen, occasionally responding with snide remarks and corrections but it's clear she is in pain and fighting to stay conscious as time passes her responses becomes less and less frequent. Day and I do the best we can but it isn't enough. One hour and seven minutes after I awoke in this cold, horrible cell Jessalyn dies.

When she slides into death it is oddly graceful exactly as she wished but like all senseless death it is still undeniably ugly. Day watches her face relax and I watch him as he sets her head gently on the ground and brushes back her hair.

"She didn't deserve to die like this." He says bitterly. I shake my head because I have no words. When he speaks again his voice is heavy with regret, "You would've liked her, she was sharp but she was a lot like us really, a survivor. Parents died when she was little, Dad was a goddy trot killed her Mom and offed himself… She didn't talk about it but I stole her file." He is absently arranging her arms at her sides and his hands shake a little but I don't think he notices. "Didn't pity herself though, she was too smart for that."

When he is finished we sit quietly for a long time simply staring at Jessalyn's unnaturally still features."She deserved better. "He says at last, his voice catches but when he lifts his eyes to mine I am surprised to discover them dry of tears. It takes a moment before I realize that mine are not.

**Hello beautiful readers,**

**As always thank-you for reading, you are the best! This little section of the story seemed to need to be on it's own so I hope you don't mind….**

**I'll admit I am moving a little slowly lately but I promise, promise I will keep updating as regularly as possible and I will finish the story in the not too distant future (already we are more than half way through). As far as cliffhangers go…well, I hate them too and I don't mean to torture anyone…sometimes things just seem to write themselves that way… I beg forgiveness and all that jazz**

**As always please let me know what you think, Love it? Hate it? Thoughts or questions? I would LOVE to hear them! **


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